Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer: .......!!!!! !!
============ =========
Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito
and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
============ =========
Banta: When did George Washington die?
Santa: two days before his funeral.
============ =========
Banta: Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think
of........
Santa: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
============ =========
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car
in a restricted area. The Judge askd him if he had
anything to say in his defence. "They should not put
up such misleading notices", said Banta. "It said,
FINE FOR PARKING HERE"
============ =========
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were always boasting of
their parents achievements to each other.
Santa Singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta Singh : Yes I have.
Santa Singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta Singh : That's nothing, have you ever heard of
Dead Sea?
Santa Singh : Yes I have.
Banta Singh : Well, my father killed it.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Some tips__Food
Some tips
Almonds: To remove the skin of
almonds easily, soak them in hot water for 15-20 minutes.
Ants: Putting 3-4 cloves in the sugar container will keep the ants at bay.
Biscuits: If you keep a piece of blotting paper at the bottom of the container, it will keep
biscuits fresh for a longer time.
Butter: Avoid the use of butter. If it is essential to use, use a butter containing low saturated fat or with plant stanols (which avoid absorption of cholesterol by our body) or similar substitutes.
Apples: Apply some lemon juice on the cut surface of the apple to avoid browning. They will look fresh for a longer time.
Banana: Apply mashed banana over a burn on your body to have a cooling effect.
Bee and Scorpion Sting Relief: Apply a mixture of 1 pinch of chewing tobacco and 1 drop of water. Mix and apply directly and immediately to the sting; cover with band aid to hold in place. Pain will go away in just a few short minutes
Bitter Gourd (Karela): Slit Karelas at the middle and apply a mixture of salt, wheat flour and curd all round. Keep aside for 1/2 an hour and then cook.
Stuffed Karela
Celery: To keep celery fresh for long time, wrap it in aluminium foil and place in the refrigerator.
Burnt Food: Place some chopped onion in the vessel having burnt food, pour boiling water in it, keep for 5 minutes and then clean.
Chilli Powder: Keeping a small piece of hing (asafoetida) in the same container will store chilli powder for long time.
Chopping: Use a wooden board to chop. It will not blunt the knife. Don't use a plastic board, small plastic pieces may go with the vegetables.
Coriander/Mint: You can use dried coriander and mint leaves in coarse powder form in vegetable curry or chutney, if fresh ones are not available.
To keep them fresh for a longer time, wrap them in a muslin cloth and keep in a fridge.
Cockroaches: Put some boric powder in kitchen in corners and other places. Cockroaches will leave your house.
Coconut: Immerse coconut in water for 1/2 an hour to remove its hust.
Dry Fruits: To chop dry fruits, place them in fridge for half an hour before cutting. Take the fruits out and cut them with a hot knife (dip it in hot water before cutting).
Dough/Rolling pin: If the dough sticks to the rolling pin, place it in freezer for a few minutes.
Egg peeling off: Make a small hole in the egg by piercing a pin before boiling it. You will be able to remove its skin very easily.
Egg fresh: Immerse the egg in a pan of cool salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh; if it rises to the surface, it is certainly quite old.
Garlic: Garlic skin comes off easily if the garlic cloves are slightly warmed before peeling.
Ghee: Avoid the use of ghee. If it is necessary, substitute it with canola oil. Even for making halwa, you can partly substitute it with oil.
Green Chillies: To keep the chillies fresh for a longer time, remove the stems before storing.
Green Peas: To preserve green peas, keep them in a polythene bag in the freezer.
Idlies: Place a betel (paan) leaf over the leftover idli and dosa batter to prevent them sour.
Do not beat idli batter too much, the air which has been incorporated during fermentation will escape.
If you add half a tsp of fenugreek seeds to the lentil and rice mixture while soaking, dosas will be more crisp.
Fruits: To ripen fruits, wrap them in newspaper and put in a warm place for 2-3 days. The ethylene gas they emit will make them ripe.
Frying: Avoid deep frying. Substitute deep frying with stir frying or oven bake. Don't pour the oil, but make a habit of spraying the oil in the utensil for cooking. Heat the utensil first, then add oil. This way oil spreads well. You will use less oil this way.
Left Over: Don't throw away the foods left over. Store them in Fridge. Use them in making tasty dishes.
Lemon/Lime: If the lemon or lime is hard, put it in warm water for 5-10 minutes to make it easier to squeeze.
Lizards: Hang a peacock feather, lizards will leave your house.
Milk: Moisten the base of the vessel with water to reduce the chances of milk to stick at the bottom.
Keep a spoon in the vessel while boiling milk at medium heat. It will avoid sticking the milk at the bottom of the vessel.Adding half a tsp of sodium bicarbonate in the milk while boiling will not spoil the milk even if you don't put it in the fridge.
Mixer/Grinder: Grind some common salt in your mixer/grinder fro some time every month. This will keep your mixer blades sharp.
Mosquitoes: Put a few camphor tablets in a cup of water and keep it in the bed room near your bed, or in any place with mosquitoes.
Noodles: When the noodles are boiled, drain all the hot water and add cold water. This way all the noodles will get separated.
Onions: To avoid crying, cut the onions into two parts and place them in water for 15 minutes before chopping them.Wrap the onions individually in a newspaper and store in a cool and dark place to keep them fresh for long time.
Oven: Watch from the oven window to conserve energy because the
oven temperature drops by 25 degrees every time its door is opened,
To clean the oven, apply a paste of sodium bicarbonate and water on the walls and floor of the oven and keep the oven on low heat for about half an hour. Dried food can easily be removed.
Paneer: To keep paneer fresh for several days, wrap it in a blotting paper while storing in the refrigerator.
Do not fry paneer, immerse it in boiling water to make it soft and spongy.
Papad: Bake in microwave oven.
Wrap the papads in polythene sheet and place with dal or rice will prevent them from drying and breaking.
Pickles: To prevent the growth of fungus in pickles, burn a small grain of asafoetida over a burning coal and invert the empty pickle jar for some time before putting pickles in the jar.
Popcorn: Keep the maize/corn seeds in the freezer and pop while still frozen to get better pops.
Potato: To bake potatoes quickly, place them in salt water for 15 minutes before baking.
Use the skin of boiled potatoes to wipe mirrors to sparkling clean.Don't store potatoes and onions together. Potatoes will rot quickly if stored with onions.
Refrigerator: To prevent formation of ice, rub table salt to the insides of your freeze.
Rice: Add a few drops of lemon juice in the water before boiling the rice to make rice whiter.
Add a tsp of canola oil in the water before boiling the rice to separate each grain after cooking.
Don't throw away the rice water after cooking. Use it to make soup or add it in making dal (lentils).
Add 5g of dried powdered mint leaves to 1kg of rice. It will keep insects at bay.
Put a small paper packet of boric powder in the container of rice to keep insects at bay. Put a few leaves of mint in the container of rice to keep insects at bay.
Samosa: Bake them instead of deep frying to make them fat free. Don't fry the filling potato masala.
Preserve the samosas in freezer. For eating, take out of the freezer two hours in advance and bake them over low temp.
Sugar: Put 2-3 cloves in the sugar to keep ants at bay.
Tadka: Use sprouted mustard seeds (rayee) and fenugreek (methi) seeds for your tadkas. Both of them when sprouted have more nutritional values. Also this add flavour to the dish and can be more beneficial, besides giving decorative look to the dish. Submitted by MS Itisha Madhav
Tomato: To remove the skin of tomatoes, place them in warm water for 5-10 minutes. The skin can then be easily peeled off.When tomatoes are not available or too costly, substitute with tomato puree or tomato ketchup/sauce. Place overripe tomatoes in cold water and add some salt. Overnight they will become firm and fresh.
Tamarind: Tamarind is an excellent polish for brass and copper items. Rub a slab of wet tamarind with some salt sprinkled on it on the object to be polished.
Gargles with tamarind water is recommended for a sore throat.
Utensils: Use nonsticking utensils. Use thick bottom utensils, they get uniformly heated. For electric stoves, use flat bottom utensils.
Add a little bit of common salt to the washing powder for better cleaning of utensils.
Vegetables: Don't discard the water in which the vegetables are soaked or cooked. Use it in making soup or gravy. To keep the vegetables fresh for a longer time, wrap them in newspaper before putting them in freeze.
Chop the vegetables only when you are ready to use them. Don't cut them in too advance. It would spoil their food value.
Sink (Blocked): To clear the blocked drain pipe of your kitchen sink, mix 1/2 cup sodium bicarbonate in 1 cup vinegar and pour it into the sink, and pour about 1 cup water. In an hour the drain pipe will open.
Soup Salty: Place a raw peeled potato in the bowl, it will absorb the extra salt.
Yoghurt (Home Made): To set
yogurt in winter, place the container in a warm place like oven or over the voltage stabliser.
Yogurt: If the yogurt has become sour, put it in a muslin cloth and drain all the water. Then add milk to make it as good as fresh in taste. Use the drained water in making tasty gravy for vegetables or for basen curry.
To keep the yogurt fresh for many days, fill the vessel containing yogurt with water to the brim and refrigerate. Change the water daily..
Almonds: To remove the skin of
almonds easily, soak them in hot water for 15-20 minutes.
Ants: Putting 3-4 cloves in the sugar container will keep the ants at bay.
Biscuits: If you keep a piece of blotting paper at the bottom of the container, it will keep
biscuits fresh for a longer time.
Butter: Avoid the use of butter. If it is essential to use, use a butter containing low saturated fat or with plant stanols (which avoid absorption of cholesterol by our body) or similar substitutes.
Apples: Apply some lemon juice on the cut surface of the apple to avoid browning. They will look fresh for a longer time.
Banana: Apply mashed banana over a burn on your body to have a cooling effect.
Bee and Scorpion Sting Relief: Apply a mixture of 1 pinch of chewing tobacco and 1 drop of water. Mix and apply directly and immediately to the sting; cover with band aid to hold in place. Pain will go away in just a few short minutes
Bitter Gourd (Karela): Slit Karelas at the middle and apply a mixture of salt, wheat flour and curd all round. Keep aside for 1/2 an hour and then cook.
Stuffed Karela
Celery: To keep celery fresh for long time, wrap it in aluminium foil and place in the refrigerator.
Burnt Food: Place some chopped onion in the vessel having burnt food, pour boiling water in it, keep for 5 minutes and then clean.
Chilli Powder: Keeping a small piece of hing (asafoetida) in the same container will store chilli powder for long time.
Chopping: Use a wooden board to chop. It will not blunt the knife. Don't use a plastic board, small plastic pieces may go with the vegetables.
Coriander/Mint: You can use dried coriander and mint leaves in coarse powder form in vegetable curry or chutney, if fresh ones are not available.
To keep them fresh for a longer time, wrap them in a muslin cloth and keep in a fridge.
Cockroaches: Put some boric powder in kitchen in corners and other places. Cockroaches will leave your house.
Coconut: Immerse coconut in water for 1/2 an hour to remove its hust.
Dry Fruits: To chop dry fruits, place them in fridge for half an hour before cutting. Take the fruits out and cut them with a hot knife (dip it in hot water before cutting).
Dough/Rolling pin: If the dough sticks to the rolling pin, place it in freezer for a few minutes.
Egg peeling off: Make a small hole in the egg by piercing a pin before boiling it. You will be able to remove its skin very easily.
Egg fresh: Immerse the egg in a pan of cool salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh; if it rises to the surface, it is certainly quite old.
Garlic: Garlic skin comes off easily if the garlic cloves are slightly warmed before peeling.
Ghee: Avoid the use of ghee. If it is necessary, substitute it with canola oil. Even for making halwa, you can partly substitute it with oil.
Green Chillies: To keep the chillies fresh for a longer time, remove the stems before storing.
Green Peas: To preserve green peas, keep them in a polythene bag in the freezer.
Idlies: Place a betel (paan) leaf over the leftover idli and dosa batter to prevent them sour.
Do not beat idli batter too much, the air which has been incorporated during fermentation will escape.
If you add half a tsp of fenugreek seeds to the lentil and rice mixture while soaking, dosas will be more crisp.
Fruits: To ripen fruits, wrap them in newspaper and put in a warm place for 2-3 days. The ethylene gas they emit will make them ripe.
Frying: Avoid deep frying. Substitute deep frying with stir frying or oven bake. Don't pour the oil, but make a habit of spraying the oil in the utensil for cooking. Heat the utensil first, then add oil. This way oil spreads well. You will use less oil this way.
Left Over: Don't throw away the foods left over. Store them in Fridge. Use them in making tasty dishes.
Lemon/Lime: If the lemon or lime is hard, put it in warm water for 5-10 minutes to make it easier to squeeze.
Lizards: Hang a peacock feather, lizards will leave your house.
Milk: Moisten the base of the vessel with water to reduce the chances of milk to stick at the bottom.
Keep a spoon in the vessel while boiling milk at medium heat. It will avoid sticking the milk at the bottom of the vessel.Adding half a tsp of sodium bicarbonate in the milk while boiling will not spoil the milk even if you don't put it in the fridge.
Mixer/Grinder: Grind some common salt in your mixer/grinder fro some time every month. This will keep your mixer blades sharp.
Mosquitoes: Put a few camphor tablets in a cup of water and keep it in the bed room near your bed, or in any place with mosquitoes.
Noodles: When the noodles are boiled, drain all the hot water and add cold water. This way all the noodles will get separated.
Onions: To avoid crying, cut the onions into two parts and place them in water for 15 minutes before chopping them.Wrap the onions individually in a newspaper and store in a cool and dark place to keep them fresh for long time.
Oven: Watch from the oven window to conserve energy because the
oven temperature drops by 25 degrees every time its door is opened,
To clean the oven, apply a paste of sodium bicarbonate and water on the walls and floor of the oven and keep the oven on low heat for about half an hour. Dried food can easily be removed.
Paneer: To keep paneer fresh for several days, wrap it in a blotting paper while storing in the refrigerator.
Do not fry paneer, immerse it in boiling water to make it soft and spongy.
Papad: Bake in microwave oven.
Wrap the papads in polythene sheet and place with dal or rice will prevent them from drying and breaking.
Pickles: To prevent the growth of fungus in pickles, burn a small grain of asafoetida over a burning coal and invert the empty pickle jar for some time before putting pickles in the jar.
Popcorn: Keep the maize/corn seeds in the freezer and pop while still frozen to get better pops.
Potato: To bake potatoes quickly, place them in salt water for 15 minutes before baking.
Use the skin of boiled potatoes to wipe mirrors to sparkling clean.Don't store potatoes and onions together. Potatoes will rot quickly if stored with onions.
Refrigerator: To prevent formation of ice, rub table salt to the insides of your freeze.
Rice: Add a few drops of lemon juice in the water before boiling the rice to make rice whiter.
Add a tsp of canola oil in the water before boiling the rice to separate each grain after cooking.
Don't throw away the rice water after cooking. Use it to make soup or add it in making dal (lentils).
Add 5g of dried powdered mint leaves to 1kg of rice. It will keep insects at bay.
Put a small paper packet of boric powder in the container of rice to keep insects at bay. Put a few leaves of mint in the container of rice to keep insects at bay.
Samosa: Bake them instead of deep frying to make them fat free. Don't fry the filling potato masala.
Preserve the samosas in freezer. For eating, take out of the freezer two hours in advance and bake them over low temp.
Sugar: Put 2-3 cloves in the sugar to keep ants at bay.
Tadka: Use sprouted mustard seeds (rayee) and fenugreek (methi) seeds for your tadkas. Both of them when sprouted have more nutritional values. Also this add flavour to the dish and can be more beneficial, besides giving decorative look to the dish. Submitted by MS Itisha Madhav
Tomato: To remove the skin of tomatoes, place them in warm water for 5-10 minutes. The skin can then be easily peeled off.When tomatoes are not available or too costly, substitute with tomato puree or tomato ketchup/sauce. Place overripe tomatoes in cold water and add some salt. Overnight they will become firm and fresh.
Tamarind: Tamarind is an excellent polish for brass and copper items. Rub a slab of wet tamarind with some salt sprinkled on it on the object to be polished.
Gargles with tamarind water is recommended for a sore throat.
Utensils: Use nonsticking utensils. Use thick bottom utensils, they get uniformly heated. For electric stoves, use flat bottom utensils.
Add a little bit of common salt to the washing powder for better cleaning of utensils.
Vegetables: Don't discard the water in which the vegetables are soaked or cooked. Use it in making soup or gravy. To keep the vegetables fresh for a longer time, wrap them in newspaper before putting them in freeze.
Chop the vegetables only when you are ready to use them. Don't cut them in too advance. It would spoil their food value.
Sink (Blocked): To clear the blocked drain pipe of your kitchen sink, mix 1/2 cup sodium bicarbonate in 1 cup vinegar and pour it into the sink, and pour about 1 cup water. In an hour the drain pipe will open.
Soup Salty: Place a raw peeled potato in the bowl, it will absorb the extra salt.
Yoghurt (Home Made): To set
yogurt in winter, place the container in a warm place like oven or over the voltage stabliser.
Yogurt: If the yogurt has become sour, put it in a muslin cloth and drain all the water. Then add milk to make it as good as fresh in taste. Use the drained water in making tasty gravy for vegetables or for basen curry.
To keep the yogurt fresh for many days, fill the vessel containing yogurt with water to the brim and refrigerate. Change the water daily..
Chanakya
A Transalation of His great Arthashastra. . let us read Kautilyas ( Chanakya or Vishnuguptha) Arthashastra
discipline” of the Arthasástra of Kautilya.]
Ascertaining by temptations purity or impurity
in the character of ministers
Assisted by his prime minister (mantri) and his high priest, the king shall, by offering temptations, examine the character of ministers (amátya) appointed in government departments of ordinary nature.
The king shall dismiss a priest who, when ordered, refuses to teach the Vedás to an outcaste person or to officiate in a sacrificial performance (apparently) undertaken by an outcaste person (ayájya).
Then the dismissed priest shall, through the medium of spies under the guise of class-mates (satri), instigate each minister one after another, saying on oath "this king is unrighteous; well let us set up in his place another king who is righteous, or who is born of the same family as of this king, or who is kept imprisoned, or a neighbouring king of his family and of self-sufficiency (ekapragraha), or a wild chief (atavika), or an upstart (aupapádika); this attempt is to the liking of all of us; what dost thou think ?"
If any one or all of the ministers refuse to acquiesce in such a measure, he or they shall be considered pure. This is what is called religious allurement.
A commander of the army, dismissed from service for receiving condemnable things (asatpragraha) may, through the agency of spies under the guise of class-mates (satri), incite each minister to murder the king in view of acquiring immense wealth, each minister being asked "this attempt is to the liking of all of us; what dost thou think?"
If they refuse to agree, they are to be considered pure. This is what is termed monetary allurement.
A woman-spy under the guise of an ascetic and highly esteemed in the harem of the king may allure each prime minister (mahámátra) one after another, saying "the queen is enamoured of thee and has made arrangements for thy entrance into her chamber; besides this, there is also the certainty of large acquisitions of wealth."
If they discard the proposal, they are pure. This is what is styled love-allurement.
With the intention of sailing on a commercial vessel (prahavananimittam), a minister may induce all other ministers to follow him. Apprehensive of danger, the king may arrest them all. A spy under the guise of a fraudulent disciple, pretending to have suffered imprisonment may incite each of the ministers thus deprived of wealth and rank, saying, "the king has betaken himself to an unwise course; well, having murdered him, let us put another in his stead. We all like this; what dost thou think?"
If they refuse to agree, they are pure. This is what is termed allurement under fear.
Of these tried ministers, those whose character has been tested under religious allurements shall be employed in civil and criminal courts (dharmasthaníyakantak a sodhaneshu); those whose purity has been tested under monetary allurements shall be employed in the work of a revenue collector and chamberlain; those who have been tried under love-allurements shall be appointed to superintend the pleasure-grounds (vihára) both external and internal; those who have been tested by allurements under fear shall be appointed to immediate service; and those whose character has been tested under all kinds of allurements shall be employed as prime ministers (mantrinah), while those who are proved impure under one or all of these allurements shall be appointed in mines, timber and elephant forests, and manufactories.
Teachers have decided that in accordance with ascertained purity, the king shall employ in corresponding works those ministers whose character has been tested under the three pursuits of life, religion, wealth and love, and under fear.
Never, in the view of Kautilya, shall the king make himself or his queen an object (laksham, butt) of testing the character of his councillors, nor shall he vitiate the pure like water with poison.
Sometimes the prescribed medicine may fail to reach the person of moral disease; the mind of the valiant, though naturally kept steadfast, may not, when once vitiated and repelled under the four kinds of allurements, return to and recover its original form.
Hence having set up an external object as the butt for all the four kinds of allurements, the king shall, through the agency of spies (satri), find out the pure or impure character of his ministers (amátya).
[Thus ends Chapter X, “Ascertaining by Temptations Purity or Impurity in the Character of Ministers,” in Book I, “Concerning Discipline” of the Arthasástra of Kautilya.]
Chapter 11.
The instituion of spies
ASSISTED by the council of his ministers tried under espionage, the king shall proceed to create spies: --Spies under the guise of a fraudulent disciple (kápatika-chhátra), a recluse (udásthita), a householder (grihapaitika), a merchant (vaidehaka), an ascetic practising austerities (tápasa), a class-mate or a colleague (satri), a fire-brand (tíkshna), a poisoner (rasada), and a mendicant woman (bhikshuki).
A skillful person capable of guessing the mind of others is a fraudulent disciple. Having encouraged such a spy with honour and money rewards, the minister shall tell him, "sworn to the king and myself, thou shalt inform us of whatever wickedness thou findest in others."
One who is initiated in asceticism and is possessed of foresight and pure character is a recluse. This spy, provided with much money and many disciples, shall carry on agriculture, cattle-rearing, and trade (vártakarma) on the lands allotted to him for the purpose. Out of the produce and profits thus acquired, he shall provide all ascetics with subsistence, clothing and lodging, and send on espionage such among those under his protection as are desirous to earn a livelihood (vrittikáma), ordering each of them to detect a particular kind of crime committed in connection with the king's wealth and to report of it when they come to receive their subsistence and wages. All the ascetics (under the recluse) shall severally send their followers on similar errands.
A cultivator, fallen from his profession, but possessed of foresight and pure character is termed a householder spy. This spy shall carry on the cultivation of lands allotted to him for the purpose, and maintain cultivators, etc.--as before.
A trader, fallen from his profession, but possessed of foresight and pure character, is a merchant spy. This spy shall carry on the manufacture of merchandise on lands allotted to him for the purpose, etc.,--as before.
A man with shaved head (munda) or braided hair (jatila) and desirous to earn livelihood is a spy under the guise of an ascetic practising austerities. Such a spy surrounded by a host of disciples with shaved head or braided hair may take his abode in the suburbs of a city, and pretend as a person barely living on a handful of vegetables or meadow grass (yavasamushti) taken once in the interval of a month or two, but he may take in secret his favourite food-stuffs (gúdhamishtamáhá ram).
Merchant spies pretending to be his disciples may worship him as one possessed of preternatural powers. His other disciples may widely proclaim that "this ascetic is an accomplished expert of preternatural powers."
Regarding those persons who, desirous of knowing their future, throng to him, he may, through palmistry, foretell such future events as he can ascertain by the nods and signs of his disciples (angavidyayá sishyasanjnábhischa) concerning the works of high-born people of the country,-- viz., small profits, destruction by fire, fear from robbers, the execution of the seditious, rewards for the good, forecast of foreign affairs (videsa pravrittivijná nam), saying, “this will happen to-day, that to-morrow, and that this king will do.” Such assertions of the ascetic his disciples shall corroborate (by adducing facts and figures).
He shall also foretell not only the rewards which persons possessed of foresight, eloquence, and bravery are likely to receive at the hands of the king, but also probable changes in the appointments of ministers.
The king's minister shall direct his affairs in conformity to the forecast made by the ascetic. He shall appease with offer of wealth and honour those who have had some well known cause to be disaffected, and impose punishments in secret on those who are for no reason disaffected or who are plotting against the king.
Honoured by the king with awards of money and titles, these five institutes of espionage (samstháh) shall ascertain the purity of character of the king's servants.
[Thus ends Chapter XI, "The Institution of Spies" in Book I, “Concerning Discipline” of the Arthasástra of Kautilya.]
Chapter 12.
Institution of spies
Creation of Wandering Spies.
Those orphans (asambandhinah) who are to be necessarily fed by the state and are put to study science, palmistry (angavidya), sorcery (máyágata), the duties of the various orders of religious life, legerdemain (jambhakavidya), and the reading of omens and augury (antara-chakra), are classmate spies or spies learning by social intercourse (samsargavidyasatrin ah).
Such brave desperados of the country who, reckless of their own life, confront elephants or tigers in fight mainly for the purpose of earning money are termed fire-brands or fiery spies (tíkshna).
Those who have no trace of filial affection left in them and who are very cruel and indolent are poisoners (rasada).
A poor widow of Bráhman caste, very clever, and desirous to earn her livelihood is a woman ascetic (parivrájiká). Honoured in the king's harem, such a woman shall frequent the residences of the king's prime ministers (mahámátrakuláni).
The same rule shall apply to women with shaved head (munda), as well as to those of súdra caste. All these are wandering spies (sancháráh).
Of these spies, those who are of good family, loyal, reliable, well-trained in the art of putting on disguises appropriate to countries and trades, and possessed of knowledge of many languages and arts shall be sent by the king to espy in his own country the movements of his ministers, priests, commanders of the army, the heir-apparent, the door-keepers, the officer in charge of the harem, the magistrate (prasástri), the collector-general (samáhartri), the chamberlain (sannidhátri), the commissioner (pradeshtri) , the city constable (náyaka), the officer in charge of the city (paura), the superintendent of transactions (vyávahárika), the superintendent of manufactories (karmántika), the assembly of councillors (mantriparishad), heads of departments (adhyaksháh), the commissary-general (dandapála), and officers in charge of fortifications, boundaries, and wild tracts.
Fiery spies, such as are employed to hold the royal umbrella, vase, fan, and shoes, or to attend at the throne, chariot, and conveyance shall espy the public character (báhyam cháram) of these (officers).
Classmate spies shall convey this information (i.e., that gathered by the fiery spies) to the institutes of espionage (samsthásvarpayeyuh).
Poisoners such as a sauce-maker (súda), a cook (arálika), procurer of water for bathing (snápaka) shampooer, the spreader of bed (ástaraka), a barber (kalpaka), toilet-maker (prasádaka), a water-servant; servants such as have taken the appearance of a hump-backed person, a dwarf, a pigmy (kiráta), the dumb, the deaf, the idiot, the blind; artisans such as actors, dancers, singers, players on musical instruments, buffoons, and a bard; as well as women shall espy the private character of these officers.
A mendicant woman shall convey this information to the institute of espionage.
The immediate officers of the institutes of espionage (samsthánámantevá sinah) shall by making use of signs or writing (samjnálipibhih) set their own spies in motion (to ascertain the validity of the information) .
Neither the institutes of espionage nor they (the wandering spies) shall know each other.
If a mendicant woman is stopped at the entrance, the line of door-keepers. , spies under the guise of father and mother (mátápitri vyanjanáh), women artisans, court-bards, or prostitutes shall, under the pretext of taking in musical instruments, or through cipher-writing (gudhalekhya), or by means of signs, convey the information to its destined place (cháram nirhareyuh.)
(Spies of the institutes of espionage) may suddenly go out under the pretext of long standing disease, or lunacy, or by setting fire (to something) or by administering poison (to some one).
When the information thus received from these three different sources is exactly of the same version, it shall be held reliable. If they (the three sources) frequently differ, the spies concerned shall either be punished in secret or dismissed.
Those spies who are referred to in Book IV, "Removal of Thorns," shall receive their salaries from those kings (para, i.e., foreign) with whom they live as servants; but when they aid both the states in the work of catching hold of robbers, they shall become recipients of salaries from both the states (ubhayavetanáh).
Those whose sons and wives are kept (as hostages) shall be made recipients of salaries from two states and considered as under the mission of enemies. Purity of character of such persons shall be ascertained through persons of similar profession.
Thus with regard to kings who are inimical, friendly, intermediate, of low rank, or neutral, and with regard to their eighteen government departments (ashtáldasa-tírtha), spies shall be set in motion.
The hump-backed, the dwarf, the eunuch, women of accomplishments, the dumb, and various grades of Mlechcha caste shall be spies inside their houses.
Merchant spies inside forts; saints and ascetics in the suburbs of forts; the cultivator and the recluse in country parts; herdsmen in the boundaries of the country; in forests, forest-dwellers, sramanás, and chiefs of wild tribes, shall be stationed to ascertain the movements of enemies. All these spies shall be very quick in the dispatch of their work.
Spies set up by foreign kings shall also be found out by local spies; spies by spies of like profession. It is the institutes of espionage, secret or avowed, that set spies in motion.
Those chiefs whose inimical design has been found out by spies supporting the king's cause shall, in view of affording opportunity to detect the spies of foreign kings, be made to live on the boundaries of the state.
[Thus ends Chapter XII, “Creation of Wandering Spies” in the section of “The Institution of Spies,” in Book I. “Concerning Discipline” of the Arthasástra of Kautilya
discipline” of the Arthasástra of Kautilya.]
Ascertaining by temptations purity or impurity
in the character of ministers
Assisted by his prime minister (mantri) and his high priest, the king shall, by offering temptations, examine the character of ministers (amátya) appointed in government departments of ordinary nature.
The king shall dismiss a priest who, when ordered, refuses to teach the Vedás to an outcaste person or to officiate in a sacrificial performance (apparently) undertaken by an outcaste person (ayájya).
Then the dismissed priest shall, through the medium of spies under the guise of class-mates (satri), instigate each minister one after another, saying on oath "this king is unrighteous; well let us set up in his place another king who is righteous, or who is born of the same family as of this king, or who is kept imprisoned, or a neighbouring king of his family and of self-sufficiency (ekapragraha), or a wild chief (atavika), or an upstart (aupapádika); this attempt is to the liking of all of us; what dost thou think ?"
If any one or all of the ministers refuse to acquiesce in such a measure, he or they shall be considered pure. This is what is called religious allurement.
A commander of the army, dismissed from service for receiving condemnable things (asatpragraha) may, through the agency of spies under the guise of class-mates (satri), incite each minister to murder the king in view of acquiring immense wealth, each minister being asked "this attempt is to the liking of all of us; what dost thou think?"
If they refuse to agree, they are to be considered pure. This is what is termed monetary allurement.
A woman-spy under the guise of an ascetic and highly esteemed in the harem of the king may allure each prime minister (mahámátra) one after another, saying "the queen is enamoured of thee and has made arrangements for thy entrance into her chamber; besides this, there is also the certainty of large acquisitions of wealth."
If they discard the proposal, they are pure. This is what is styled love-allurement.
With the intention of sailing on a commercial vessel (prahavananimittam), a minister may induce all other ministers to follow him. Apprehensive of danger, the king may arrest them all. A spy under the guise of a fraudulent disciple, pretending to have suffered imprisonment may incite each of the ministers thus deprived of wealth and rank, saying, "the king has betaken himself to an unwise course; well, having murdered him, let us put another in his stead. We all like this; what dost thou think?"
If they refuse to agree, they are pure. This is what is termed allurement under fear.
Of these tried ministers, those whose character has been tested under religious allurements shall be employed in civil and criminal courts (dharmasthaníyakantak a sodhaneshu); those whose purity has been tested under monetary allurements shall be employed in the work of a revenue collector and chamberlain; those who have been tried under love-allurements shall be appointed to superintend the pleasure-grounds (vihára) both external and internal; those who have been tested by allurements under fear shall be appointed to immediate service; and those whose character has been tested under all kinds of allurements shall be employed as prime ministers (mantrinah), while those who are proved impure under one or all of these allurements shall be appointed in mines, timber and elephant forests, and manufactories.
Teachers have decided that in accordance with ascertained purity, the king shall employ in corresponding works those ministers whose character has been tested under the three pursuits of life, religion, wealth and love, and under fear.
Never, in the view of Kautilya, shall the king make himself or his queen an object (laksham, butt) of testing the character of his councillors, nor shall he vitiate the pure like water with poison.
Sometimes the prescribed medicine may fail to reach the person of moral disease; the mind of the valiant, though naturally kept steadfast, may not, when once vitiated and repelled under the four kinds of allurements, return to and recover its original form.
Hence having set up an external object as the butt for all the four kinds of allurements, the king shall, through the agency of spies (satri), find out the pure or impure character of his ministers (amátya).
[Thus ends Chapter X, “Ascertaining by Temptations Purity or Impurity in the Character of Ministers,” in Book I, “Concerning Discipline” of the Arthasástra of Kautilya.]
Chapter 11.
The instituion of spies
ASSISTED by the council of his ministers tried under espionage, the king shall proceed to create spies: --Spies under the guise of a fraudulent disciple (kápatika-chhátra), a recluse (udásthita), a householder (grihapaitika), a merchant (vaidehaka), an ascetic practising austerities (tápasa), a class-mate or a colleague (satri), a fire-brand (tíkshna), a poisoner (rasada), and a mendicant woman (bhikshuki).
A skillful person capable of guessing the mind of others is a fraudulent disciple. Having encouraged such a spy with honour and money rewards, the minister shall tell him, "sworn to the king and myself, thou shalt inform us of whatever wickedness thou findest in others."
One who is initiated in asceticism and is possessed of foresight and pure character is a recluse. This spy, provided with much money and many disciples, shall carry on agriculture, cattle-rearing, and trade (vártakarma) on the lands allotted to him for the purpose. Out of the produce and profits thus acquired, he shall provide all ascetics with subsistence, clothing and lodging, and send on espionage such among those under his protection as are desirous to earn a livelihood (vrittikáma), ordering each of them to detect a particular kind of crime committed in connection with the king's wealth and to report of it when they come to receive their subsistence and wages. All the ascetics (under the recluse) shall severally send their followers on similar errands.
A cultivator, fallen from his profession, but possessed of foresight and pure character is termed a householder spy. This spy shall carry on the cultivation of lands allotted to him for the purpose, and maintain cultivators, etc.--as before.
A trader, fallen from his profession, but possessed of foresight and pure character, is a merchant spy. This spy shall carry on the manufacture of merchandise on lands allotted to him for the purpose, etc.,--as before.
A man with shaved head (munda) or braided hair (jatila) and desirous to earn livelihood is a spy under the guise of an ascetic practising austerities. Such a spy surrounded by a host of disciples with shaved head or braided hair may take his abode in the suburbs of a city, and pretend as a person barely living on a handful of vegetables or meadow grass (yavasamushti) taken once in the interval of a month or two, but he may take in secret his favourite food-stuffs (gúdhamishtamáhá ram).
Merchant spies pretending to be his disciples may worship him as one possessed of preternatural powers. His other disciples may widely proclaim that "this ascetic is an accomplished expert of preternatural powers."
Regarding those persons who, desirous of knowing their future, throng to him, he may, through palmistry, foretell such future events as he can ascertain by the nods and signs of his disciples (angavidyayá sishyasanjnábhischa) concerning the works of high-born people of the country,-- viz., small profits, destruction by fire, fear from robbers, the execution of the seditious, rewards for the good, forecast of foreign affairs (videsa pravrittivijná nam), saying, “this will happen to-day, that to-morrow, and that this king will do.” Such assertions of the ascetic his disciples shall corroborate (by adducing facts and figures).
He shall also foretell not only the rewards which persons possessed of foresight, eloquence, and bravery are likely to receive at the hands of the king, but also probable changes in the appointments of ministers.
The king's minister shall direct his affairs in conformity to the forecast made by the ascetic. He shall appease with offer of wealth and honour those who have had some well known cause to be disaffected, and impose punishments in secret on those who are for no reason disaffected or who are plotting against the king.
Honoured by the king with awards of money and titles, these five institutes of espionage (samstháh) shall ascertain the purity of character of the king's servants.
[Thus ends Chapter XI, "The Institution of Spies" in Book I, “Concerning Discipline” of the Arthasástra of Kautilya.]
Chapter 12.
Institution of spies
Creation of Wandering Spies.
Those orphans (asambandhinah) who are to be necessarily fed by the state and are put to study science, palmistry (angavidya), sorcery (máyágata), the duties of the various orders of religious life, legerdemain (jambhakavidya), and the reading of omens and augury (antara-chakra), are classmate spies or spies learning by social intercourse (samsargavidyasatrin ah).
Such brave desperados of the country who, reckless of their own life, confront elephants or tigers in fight mainly for the purpose of earning money are termed fire-brands or fiery spies (tíkshna).
Those who have no trace of filial affection left in them and who are very cruel and indolent are poisoners (rasada).
A poor widow of Bráhman caste, very clever, and desirous to earn her livelihood is a woman ascetic (parivrájiká). Honoured in the king's harem, such a woman shall frequent the residences of the king's prime ministers (mahámátrakuláni).
The same rule shall apply to women with shaved head (munda), as well as to those of súdra caste. All these are wandering spies (sancháráh).
Of these spies, those who are of good family, loyal, reliable, well-trained in the art of putting on disguises appropriate to countries and trades, and possessed of knowledge of many languages and arts shall be sent by the king to espy in his own country the movements of his ministers, priests, commanders of the army, the heir-apparent, the door-keepers, the officer in charge of the harem, the magistrate (prasástri), the collector-general (samáhartri), the chamberlain (sannidhátri), the commissioner (pradeshtri) , the city constable (náyaka), the officer in charge of the city (paura), the superintendent of transactions (vyávahárika), the superintendent of manufactories (karmántika), the assembly of councillors (mantriparishad), heads of departments (adhyaksháh), the commissary-general (dandapála), and officers in charge of fortifications, boundaries, and wild tracts.
Fiery spies, such as are employed to hold the royal umbrella, vase, fan, and shoes, or to attend at the throne, chariot, and conveyance shall espy the public character (báhyam cháram) of these (officers).
Classmate spies shall convey this information (i.e., that gathered by the fiery spies) to the institutes of espionage (samsthásvarpayeyuh).
Poisoners such as a sauce-maker (súda), a cook (arálika), procurer of water for bathing (snápaka) shampooer, the spreader of bed (ástaraka), a barber (kalpaka), toilet-maker (prasádaka), a water-servant; servants such as have taken the appearance of a hump-backed person, a dwarf, a pigmy (kiráta), the dumb, the deaf, the idiot, the blind; artisans such as actors, dancers, singers, players on musical instruments, buffoons, and a bard; as well as women shall espy the private character of these officers.
A mendicant woman shall convey this information to the institute of espionage.
The immediate officers of the institutes of espionage (samsthánámantevá sinah) shall by making use of signs or writing (samjnálipibhih) set their own spies in motion (to ascertain the validity of the information) .
Neither the institutes of espionage nor they (the wandering spies) shall know each other.
If a mendicant woman is stopped at the entrance, the line of door-keepers. , spies under the guise of father and mother (mátápitri vyanjanáh), women artisans, court-bards, or prostitutes shall, under the pretext of taking in musical instruments, or through cipher-writing (gudhalekhya), or by means of signs, convey the information to its destined place (cháram nirhareyuh.)
(Spies of the institutes of espionage) may suddenly go out under the pretext of long standing disease, or lunacy, or by setting fire (to something) or by administering poison (to some one).
When the information thus received from these three different sources is exactly of the same version, it shall be held reliable. If they (the three sources) frequently differ, the spies concerned shall either be punished in secret or dismissed.
Those spies who are referred to in Book IV, "Removal of Thorns," shall receive their salaries from those kings (para, i.e., foreign) with whom they live as servants; but when they aid both the states in the work of catching hold of robbers, they shall become recipients of salaries from both the states (ubhayavetanáh).
Those whose sons and wives are kept (as hostages) shall be made recipients of salaries from two states and considered as under the mission of enemies. Purity of character of such persons shall be ascertained through persons of similar profession.
Thus with regard to kings who are inimical, friendly, intermediate, of low rank, or neutral, and with regard to their eighteen government departments (ashtáldasa-tírtha), spies shall be set in motion.
The hump-backed, the dwarf, the eunuch, women of accomplishments, the dumb, and various grades of Mlechcha caste shall be spies inside their houses.
Merchant spies inside forts; saints and ascetics in the suburbs of forts; the cultivator and the recluse in country parts; herdsmen in the boundaries of the country; in forests, forest-dwellers, sramanás, and chiefs of wild tribes, shall be stationed to ascertain the movements of enemies. All these spies shall be very quick in the dispatch of their work.
Spies set up by foreign kings shall also be found out by local spies; spies by spies of like profession. It is the institutes of espionage, secret or avowed, that set spies in motion.
Those chiefs whose inimical design has been found out by spies supporting the king's cause shall, in view of affording opportunity to detect the spies of foreign kings, be made to live on the boundaries of the state.
[Thus ends Chapter XII, “Creation of Wandering Spies” in the section of “The Institution of Spies,” in Book I. “Concerning Discipline” of the Arthasástra of Kautilya
JOKES
JOKES
Why do men like smart women? Rare things are always sought after!!
A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a Girl can makes him Stupid in 2 minutes.
When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? Answer : On their Wedding !!
Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: Why doesn't the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
Life Paradox what u want u don't get (luv), what u get, u don't njoy (marriage), what u njoy is not permanent (galfriend), what is permanent is boring (wife)
Santa (reading from book of facts) "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't u use a mouth wash?"
To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expression & many more mental qualities. Hats off 2 u coz u manage 2 live without them!!
U r the 1st thing that comes 2 my mind. I wish I could start my day with U in my bed. I jus luv ur feel to my lips. U just make my day, I love U NESCAFE!
There re many things in ure life which will catch ure eye but only few will catch ure heart pursue those.
Why do men like smart women? Rare things are always sought after!!
A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a Girl can makes him Stupid in 2 minutes.
When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? Answer : On their Wedding !!
Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: Why doesn't the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
Life Paradox what u want u don't get (luv), what u get, u don't njoy (marriage), what u njoy is not permanent (galfriend), what is permanent is boring (wife)
Santa (reading from book of facts) "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't u use a mouth wash?"
To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expression & many more mental qualities. Hats off 2 u coz u manage 2 live without them!!
U r the 1st thing that comes 2 my mind. I wish I could start my day with U in my bed. I jus luv ur feel to my lips. U just make my day, I love U NESCAFE!
There re many things in ure life which will catch ure eye but only few will catch ure heart pursue those.
Benefits of smile
Benefits of smile
Smile shows friendship
Smile makes new friends
Smile makes other people's day brighter
Smile improves your day
Smile looks better than a frown
Smile Puts others at ease
Smile always enjoyable to give and receive
Smile leaves favorable impressions
Smile makes you look happy, confident, and self-assured
Smile could be the start of a lifetime relationship!
So, dear friend... Never leave the smile from your face!!
Keep Smiling..... .....
Smile shows friendship
Smile makes new friends
Smile makes other people's day brighter
Smile improves your day
Smile looks better than a frown
Smile Puts others at ease
Smile always enjoyable to give and receive
Smile leaves favorable impressions
Smile makes you look happy, confident, and self-assured
Smile could be the start of a lifetime relationship!
So, dear friend... Never leave the smile from your face!!
Keep Smiling..... .....
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Jokes
Jokes
Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
******
"U love someone
U marry someone else.
The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband.
And the one u loved becomes the password of Ur mail id"
******
There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.
******
If someone says u r ugly, its ok, if someone says u r stupid, its ok,
If someone says u r genius slap him as tight as you can n say there
Is a limit of kidding n u r now crossing the limit.
******
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
******
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
******
What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and
Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir Chad ke bolegi.
******
Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or
Wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.
******
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter
Speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut
******
Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
******
"U love someone
U marry someone else.
The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband.
And the one u loved becomes the password of Ur mail id"
******
There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.
******
If someone says u r ugly, its ok, if someone says u r stupid, its ok,
If someone says u r genius slap him as tight as you can n say there
Is a limit of kidding n u r now crossing the limit.
******
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
******
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
******
What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and
Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir Chad ke bolegi.
******
Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or
Wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.
******
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter
Speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut
******
DO'S AND DONT'S
DOS AND DONTS PRE-FLIGHT:
· Take plenty of sleep before you travel
· If you are traveling westwards, try going to bed and getting up an hour late each day for three days before leaving
· Reverse the above process if you are going eastwards
· Adjust your sleeping and eating patterns to the new time zone a couple of days before your flight.
· Eat light meals on the day of flight
· Keep a list of your medicines and illness with you
· Put on some moisturizer to help you through dry air in the flight cabin
· Do not use contact lenses since they will dry out and further irritate itchy or burning eyes
· Consider anti-leg lag or sleeping medicines as the last resort.
DOS AND DONTS IN-FLIGHT:
· Drink plenty of water throughout the flight- one or two glasses an hour to avoid dehydration
· Avoid consuming alcoholic beverages as it will affect the quality of your sleep and cause dehydration
· Also, too much coffee can give palpitations and irregular heart rhythms
· Be active during flight.
· Try not to sit cross legs during flight. Stretch your calf muscles while you are sitting, walk up and down and also try not to sit cross legged
· Perform isomeric exercises in your seat – flex and point your feet, do round clock and anti clock wise rotations of your ankle joints
· Do not smoke and beware of unnecessary medications
· Eat several small meals through the flight
DOS AND DONTS POST FLIGHT:
· Prefer high protein breakfast and low protein/ high carbohydrate dinner to resynchronize the biological clock
· Naps for 10 to 30 minutes can help you make catch up on the lost sleep
· Try out sleep catching medicines as the last resort, of course after consulting a doctor.
· Take plenty of sleep before you travel
· If you are traveling westwards, try going to bed and getting up an hour late each day for three days before leaving
· Reverse the above process if you are going eastwards
· Adjust your sleeping and eating patterns to the new time zone a couple of days before your flight.
· Eat light meals on the day of flight
· Keep a list of your medicines and illness with you
· Put on some moisturizer to help you through dry air in the flight cabin
· Do not use contact lenses since they will dry out and further irritate itchy or burning eyes
· Consider anti-leg lag or sleeping medicines as the last resort.
DOS AND DONTS IN-FLIGHT:
· Drink plenty of water throughout the flight- one or two glasses an hour to avoid dehydration
· Avoid consuming alcoholic beverages as it will affect the quality of your sleep and cause dehydration
· Also, too much coffee can give palpitations and irregular heart rhythms
· Be active during flight.
· Try not to sit cross legs during flight. Stretch your calf muscles while you are sitting, walk up and down and also try not to sit cross legged
· Perform isomeric exercises in your seat – flex and point your feet, do round clock and anti clock wise rotations of your ankle joints
· Do not smoke and beware of unnecessary medications
· Eat several small meals through the flight
DOS AND DONTS POST FLIGHT:
· Prefer high protein breakfast and low protein/ high carbohydrate dinner to resynchronize the biological clock
· Naps for 10 to 30 minutes can help you make catch up on the lost sleep
· Try out sleep catching medicines as the last resort, of course after consulting a doctor.
Good Jokes
Good Jokes
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- ----
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you
say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking.
It's called marriage.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there's no choice.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would
go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Here comes the Ultimate One :)
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- ----
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you
say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking.
It's called marriage.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there's no choice.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would
go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Here comes the Ultimate One :)
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
How girls rated boys
How Girlz rate Guyz?
Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.
It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:
********
% just a friend %
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"
Rahul: "Where are you going Shilpa??"
Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph! ).
********
% Good Friend %
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Rahul calls: "Hi Shilpa",
Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"
(Shilpa calls back after two days)
Shilpa: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?".
Rahul: "Generally".
Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
********
% Very good friend %
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.
She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.
Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Shilpa: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".
Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??"
Shilpa : "My boyfriend."
Rahul: Oh! Ok. :-(
********
% Best Friend %
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you.
And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul,you pay. I am having fun.
Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."
Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).
********
% Best of the Bestest Friends %
Ok now you are really special.
You are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything.
Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but... Don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend".
Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist).
Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.
********
% Boyfriend %
Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!
********
Now ~ where you stand?
Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.
It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:
********
% just a friend %
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"
Rahul: "Where are you going Shilpa??"
Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph! ).
********
% Good Friend %
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Rahul calls: "Hi Shilpa",
Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"
(Shilpa calls back after two days)
Shilpa: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?".
Rahul: "Generally".
Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
********
% Very good friend %
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.
She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.
Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Shilpa: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".
Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??"
Shilpa : "My boyfriend."
Rahul: Oh! Ok. :-(
********
% Best Friend %
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you.
And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul,you pay. I am having fun.
Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."
Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).
********
% Best of the Bestest Friends %
Ok now you are really special.
You are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything.
Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but... Don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend".
Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist).
Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.
********
% Boyfriend %
Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!
********
Now ~ where you stand?
20,golden rules of life
20. golden rules for your success Rule.20
1.- The Boss is always right.Rule 1.
2.- If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1Rule 2.
3.Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotionsRule 3.
4.Ph.D. Stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.Rule 4.
5.If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.Rule 5.
6.When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.Rule6..
7.It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.Rule 7.
8.A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.Rule 8.
9.Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.Rule 9.
10.The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.Rule 10.
11.If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.Rule 11.
12.When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.Rule12..
13.Following the rules will not get the job done.Rule.13
14.If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.Rule 14.
15.Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .Rule 15.
16.No matter how much you do, you never do enough.Rule 16.
17.You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.Rule 17.
18.In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.Rule 18.
19.In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your jobRule 19..
20.The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrongRule 20.
1.- The Boss is always right.Rule 1.
2.- If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1Rule 2.
3.Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotionsRule 3.
4.Ph.D. Stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.Rule 4.
5.If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.Rule 5.
6.When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.Rule6..
7.It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.Rule 7.
8.A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.Rule 8.
9.Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.Rule 9.
10.The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.Rule 10.
11.If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.Rule 11.
12.When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.Rule12..
13.Following the rules will not get the job done.Rule.13
14.If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.Rule 14.
15.Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous" .Rule 15.
16.No matter how much you do, you never do enough.Rule 16.
17.You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.Rule 17.
18.In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.Rule 18.
19.In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your jobRule 19..
20.The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrongRule 20.
Very Imp--- Read It
Very Imp--- Read It
Attention please…..
Don't eat kurkure because it contains high amount of plastic if U don't believe burn kurkure n u can see plastic melting. Please forward to all!!!!!!!!! !!
News report from Times of India
Avoid these tablets they are very dangerous
§ D cold
§ Vicks action- 500
§ Actified
§ Coldarin
§ Cosome
§ Nice
§ Nimulid
§ Cetrizet-D
They contain Phenyl- Propanol -Amide PPA.Which Causes strokes, and these tablets are banned in U.S.
Cotton Ear Buds... (Must read it)
Please do not show sympathy to people selling buds on roadside or at Signals.....
Just wanted to warn you people not to buy those packs of ear buds you get at the roadside. It's made from cotton that has already been used in hospitals.
They take all the dirty, blood and pus filled cotton, wash it, bleach it and use it to make ear buds. So, unless you want to become the first person in the world to get Herpes Zoster Oticus (a viral infection of the inner, middle, and external ear) of the ear and that too from a cotton bud, DON'T BUY THEM!
Please forward to all. This may be helpful for someone………..
Attention please…..
Don't eat kurkure because it contains high amount of plastic if U don't believe burn kurkure n u can see plastic melting. Please forward to all!!!!!!!!! !!
News report from Times of India
Avoid these tablets they are very dangerous
§ D cold
§ Vicks action- 500
§ Actified
§ Coldarin
§ Cosome
§ Nice
§ Nimulid
§ Cetrizet-D
They contain Phenyl- Propanol -Amide PPA.Which Causes strokes, and these tablets are banned in U.S.
Cotton Ear Buds... (Must read it)
Please do not show sympathy to people selling buds on roadside or at Signals.....
Just wanted to warn you people not to buy those packs of ear buds you get at the roadside. It's made from cotton that has already been used in hospitals.
They take all the dirty, blood and pus filled cotton, wash it, bleach it and use it to make ear buds. So, unless you want to become the first person in the world to get Herpes Zoster Oticus (a viral infection of the inner, middle, and external ear) of the ear and that too from a cotton bud, DON'T BUY THEM!
Please forward to all. This may be helpful for someone………..
Excels Keyboard Shortcuts
Excels Keyboard Shortcuts
Shortcut key
ActionMenu equivalent
commentsVersion
Ctrl+ASelect AllNoneAll
Ctrl+BBoldFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, BoldAll
Ctrl+CCopyEdit, CopyAll
Ctrl+DFill DownEdit, Fill, DownAll
Ctrl+FFindEdit, FindAll
Ctrl+GGotoEdit, GotoAll
Ctrl+HReplaceEdit, ReplaceAll
Ctrl+IItalicFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, ItalicAll
Ctrl+KInsert HyperlinkInsert, HyperlinkExcel 97/2000
Ctrl+NNew WorkbookFile, NewAll
Ctrl+OOpenFile, OpenAll
Ctrl+PPrintFile, PrintAll
Ctrl+RFill RightEdit, Fill RightAll
Ctrl+SSaveFile, SaveAll
Ctrl+UUnderlineFormat, Cells, Font, Underline, SingleAll
Ctrl+VPasteEdit, PasteAll
Ctrl WCloseFile, CloseExcel 97/2000
Ctrl+XCutEdit, CutAll
Ctrl+YRepeatEdit, RepeatAll
Ctrl+ZUndoEdit, UndoAll
F1HelpHelp, Contents and IndexAll
F2EditNoneAll
F3Paste NameInsert, Name, PasteAll
F4Repeat last actionEdit, Repeat. Works while not in Edit mode.All
F4While typing a formula, switch between absolute/relative refsNoneAll
F5GotoEdit, GotoAll
F6Next PaneNoneAll
F7Spell checkTools, SpellingAll
F8Extend modeNoneAll
F9Recalculate all workbooksTools, Options, Calculation, Calc,NowAll
F10Activate MenubarN/AAll
F11New ChartInsert, ChartAll
F12Save AsFile, Save AsAll
Ctrl+:Insert Current TimeNoneAll
Ctrl+;Insert Current DateNoneAll
Ctrl+"Copy Value from Cell AboveEdit, Paste Special, ValueAll
Ctrl+'Copy Fromula from Cell AboveEdit, CopyAll
ShiftHold down shift for additional functions in Excel's menunoneExcel 97/2000
Shift+F1What's This?Help, What's This?All
Shift+F2Edit cell commentInsert, Edit CommentsAll
Shift+F3Paste function into formulaInsert, FunctionAll
Shift+F4Find NextEdit, Find, Find NextAll
Shift+F5FindEdit, Find, Find NextAll
Shift+F6Previous PaneNoneAll
Shift+F8Add to selectionNoneAll
Shift+F9Calculate active worksheetCalc SheetAll
Shift+F10Display shortcut menuNoneAll
Shift+F11New worksheetInsert, WorksheetAll
Shift+F12SaveFile, SaveAll
Ctrl+F3Define nameInsert, Names, DefineAll
Ctrl+F4CloseFile, CloseAll
Ctrl+F5XL, Restore window sizeRestoreAll
Ctrl+F6Next workbook windowWindow, ...All
Shift+Ctrl+F6Previous workbook windowWindow, ...All
Ctrl+F7Move windowXL, MoveAll
Ctrl+F8Resize windowXL, SizeAll
Ctrl+F9Minimize workbookXL, MinimizeAll
Ctrl+F10Maximize or restore windowXL, MaximizeAll
Ctrl+F11Inset 4.0 Macro sheetNone in Excel 97. In versions prior to 97 - Insert, Macro, 4.0 MacroAll
Ctrl+F12File OpenFile, OpenAll
Alt+F1Insert ChartInsert, Chart...All
Alt+F2Save AsFile, Save AsAll
Alt+F4ExitFile, ExitAll
Alt+F8Macro dialog boxTools, Macro, Macros in Excel 97 Tools,Macros - in earlier versionsExcel 97/2000
Alt+F11Visual Basic EditorTools, Macro, Visual Basic EditorExcel 97/2000
Ctrl+Shift+F3Create name by using names of row and column labelsInsert, Name, CreateAll
Ctrl+Shift+F6Previous WindowWindow, ...All
Ctrl+Shift+F12PrintFile, PrintAll
Alt+Shift+F1New worksheetInsert, WorksheetAll
Alt+Shift+F2SaveFile, SaveAll
Alt+=AutoSumNo direct equivalentAll
Ctrl+`Toggle Value/Formula displayTools, Options, View, FormulasAll
Ctrl+Shift+AInsert argument names into formulaNo direct equivalentAll
Alt+Down arrowDisplay AutoComplete listNoneExcel 95
Alt+'Format Style dialog boxFormat, StyleAll
Ctrl+Shift+~General formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, GeneralAll
Ctrl+Shift+!Comma formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, NumberAll
Ctrl+Shift+@Time formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, TimeAll
Ctrl+Shift+#Date formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, DateAll
Ctrl+Shift+$Currency formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, CurrencyAll
Ctrl+Shift+%Percent formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, PercentageAll
Ctrl+Shift+^Exponential formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category,All
Ctrl+Shift+&Place outline border around selected cellsFormat, Cells, BorderAll
Ctrl+Shift+_Remove outline borderFormat, Cells, BorderAll
Ctrl+Shift+*Select current regionEdit, Goto, Special, Current RegionAll
Ctrl++InsertInsert, (Rows, Columns, or Cells) Depends on selectionAll
Ctrl+-DeleteDelete, (Rows, Columns, or Cells) Depends on selectionAll
Ctrl+1Format cells dialog boxFormat, CellsAll
Ctrl+2BoldFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, BoldAll
Ctrl+3ItalicFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, ItalicAll
Ctrl+4UnderlineFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, UnderlineAll
Ctrl+5StrikethroughFormat, Cells, Font, Effects, StrikethroughAll
Ctrl+6Show/Hide objectsTools, Options, View, Objects, Show All/HideAll
Ctrl+7Show/Hide Standard toolbarView, Toolbars, StardardAll
Ctrl+8Toggle Outline symbolsNoneAll
Ctrl+9Hide rowsFormat, Row, HideAll
Ctrl+0Hide columnsFormat, Column, HideAll
Ctrl+Shift+(Unhide rowsFormat, Row, UnhideAll
Ctrl+Shift+)Unhide columnsFormat, Column, UnhideAll
Alt or F10Activate the menuNoneAll
Ctrl+TabIn toolbar: next toolbarNoneExcel 97/2000
Shift+Ctrl+TabIn toolbar: previous toolbarNoneExcel 97/2000
Ctrl+TabIn a workbook: activate next workbookNone
Shortcut key
ActionMenu equivalent
commentsVersion
Ctrl+ASelect AllNoneAll
Ctrl+BBoldFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, BoldAll
Ctrl+CCopyEdit, CopyAll
Ctrl+DFill DownEdit, Fill, DownAll
Ctrl+FFindEdit, FindAll
Ctrl+GGotoEdit, GotoAll
Ctrl+HReplaceEdit, ReplaceAll
Ctrl+IItalicFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, ItalicAll
Ctrl+KInsert HyperlinkInsert, HyperlinkExcel 97/2000
Ctrl+NNew WorkbookFile, NewAll
Ctrl+OOpenFile, OpenAll
Ctrl+PPrintFile, PrintAll
Ctrl+RFill RightEdit, Fill RightAll
Ctrl+SSaveFile, SaveAll
Ctrl+UUnderlineFormat, Cells, Font, Underline, SingleAll
Ctrl+VPasteEdit, PasteAll
Ctrl WCloseFile, CloseExcel 97/2000
Ctrl+XCutEdit, CutAll
Ctrl+YRepeatEdit, RepeatAll
Ctrl+ZUndoEdit, UndoAll
F1HelpHelp, Contents and IndexAll
F2EditNoneAll
F3Paste NameInsert, Name, PasteAll
F4Repeat last actionEdit, Repeat. Works while not in Edit mode.All
F4While typing a formula, switch between absolute/relative refsNoneAll
F5GotoEdit, GotoAll
F6Next PaneNoneAll
F7Spell checkTools, SpellingAll
F8Extend modeNoneAll
F9Recalculate all workbooksTools, Options, Calculation, Calc,NowAll
F10Activate MenubarN/AAll
F11New ChartInsert, ChartAll
F12Save AsFile, Save AsAll
Ctrl+:Insert Current TimeNoneAll
Ctrl+;Insert Current DateNoneAll
Ctrl+"Copy Value from Cell AboveEdit, Paste Special, ValueAll
Ctrl+'Copy Fromula from Cell AboveEdit, CopyAll
ShiftHold down shift for additional functions in Excel's menunoneExcel 97/2000
Shift+F1What's This?Help, What's This?All
Shift+F2Edit cell commentInsert, Edit CommentsAll
Shift+F3Paste function into formulaInsert, FunctionAll
Shift+F4Find NextEdit, Find, Find NextAll
Shift+F5FindEdit, Find, Find NextAll
Shift+F6Previous PaneNoneAll
Shift+F8Add to selectionNoneAll
Shift+F9Calculate active worksheetCalc SheetAll
Shift+F10Display shortcut menuNoneAll
Shift+F11New worksheetInsert, WorksheetAll
Shift+F12SaveFile, SaveAll
Ctrl+F3Define nameInsert, Names, DefineAll
Ctrl+F4CloseFile, CloseAll
Ctrl+F5XL, Restore window sizeRestoreAll
Ctrl+F6Next workbook windowWindow, ...All
Shift+Ctrl+F6Previous workbook windowWindow, ...All
Ctrl+F7Move windowXL, MoveAll
Ctrl+F8Resize windowXL, SizeAll
Ctrl+F9Minimize workbookXL, MinimizeAll
Ctrl+F10Maximize or restore windowXL, MaximizeAll
Ctrl+F11Inset 4.0 Macro sheetNone in Excel 97. In versions prior to 97 - Insert, Macro, 4.0 MacroAll
Ctrl+F12File OpenFile, OpenAll
Alt+F1Insert ChartInsert, Chart...All
Alt+F2Save AsFile, Save AsAll
Alt+F4ExitFile, ExitAll
Alt+F8Macro dialog boxTools, Macro, Macros in Excel 97 Tools,Macros - in earlier versionsExcel 97/2000
Alt+F11Visual Basic EditorTools, Macro, Visual Basic EditorExcel 97/2000
Ctrl+Shift+F3Create name by using names of row and column labelsInsert, Name, CreateAll
Ctrl+Shift+F6Previous WindowWindow, ...All
Ctrl+Shift+F12PrintFile, PrintAll
Alt+Shift+F1New worksheetInsert, WorksheetAll
Alt+Shift+F2SaveFile, SaveAll
Alt+=AutoSumNo direct equivalentAll
Ctrl+`Toggle Value/Formula displayTools, Options, View, FormulasAll
Ctrl+Shift+AInsert argument names into formulaNo direct equivalentAll
Alt+Down arrowDisplay AutoComplete listNoneExcel 95
Alt+'Format Style dialog boxFormat, StyleAll
Ctrl+Shift+~General formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, GeneralAll
Ctrl+Shift+!Comma formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, NumberAll
Ctrl+Shift+@Time formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, TimeAll
Ctrl+Shift+#Date formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, DateAll
Ctrl+Shift+$Currency formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, CurrencyAll
Ctrl+Shift+%Percent formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category, PercentageAll
Ctrl+Shift+^Exponential formatFormat, Cells, Number, Category,All
Ctrl+Shift+&Place outline border around selected cellsFormat, Cells, BorderAll
Ctrl+Shift+_Remove outline borderFormat, Cells, BorderAll
Ctrl+Shift+*Select current regionEdit, Goto, Special, Current RegionAll
Ctrl++InsertInsert, (Rows, Columns, or Cells) Depends on selectionAll
Ctrl+-DeleteDelete, (Rows, Columns, or Cells) Depends on selectionAll
Ctrl+1Format cells dialog boxFormat, CellsAll
Ctrl+2BoldFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, BoldAll
Ctrl+3ItalicFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, ItalicAll
Ctrl+4UnderlineFormat, Cells, Font, Font Style, UnderlineAll
Ctrl+5StrikethroughFormat, Cells, Font, Effects, StrikethroughAll
Ctrl+6Show/Hide objectsTools, Options, View, Objects, Show All/HideAll
Ctrl+7Show/Hide Standard toolbarView, Toolbars, StardardAll
Ctrl+8Toggle Outline symbolsNoneAll
Ctrl+9Hide rowsFormat, Row, HideAll
Ctrl+0Hide columnsFormat, Column, HideAll
Ctrl+Shift+(Unhide rowsFormat, Row, UnhideAll
Ctrl+Shift+)Unhide columnsFormat, Column, UnhideAll
Alt or F10Activate the menuNoneAll
Ctrl+TabIn toolbar: next toolbarNoneExcel 97/2000
Shift+Ctrl+TabIn toolbar: previous toolbarNoneExcel 97/2000
Ctrl+TabIn a workbook: activate next workbookNone
21 Advices_Important
21 Advices_Important
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! . When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! . When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone
QUIZ & quiz -2
QUIZ & quiz -2
1. In addition to India, August 15 is Independence Day of which of the country?
2. Who is the first non-Indian to receive Bharat Ratna?
3. The three primary colours used in colour TV are?
4. ‘Nirmal Hriday’ located in Calcutta, was opened by? .
5. The immediate cause of American war of Independence was?
6. What type of mirror is used by a motorist to see the traffic behind him?
7. The popular song ‘Sare Jahan se Acha Hindustan Hamara’ was composed by?
8. Architectural design of Chandigrarh city was planned by?
9. Who is the builder of modern Mysore?
10. Weight of the body at the centre of the earth would be?
11. The first petroleum refinery in India was set up at?
12. The only son of Gautama Buddha was named?
13. How may countries does India have common boundary?
14. Who was the president of Pakistan at the time of formation of Bangladesh?
15. The Halley’s Comet will re-appear in?
16. The mountain range lying between Pamir plateau and Indus river is?
17. Who was the viceroy of India at the time of Jallian Wala Bagh Massacre?
18. The East India Company set up its first factory at?
19. The first scholar, who read Ashoka’s edicts, was?
20. ‘Statue of Liberty’ given to U.S.A. was made by?
ANSWERS..... ......... .......
1. South Korea.
2. Khan Abdul Gafferkhan.
3. Green-blue-red.
4. Mother Teresa
5. The Boston Tea Party.
6. Convex.
7. Muhamad Iqbal
8. Le Corbusier
9. M.Visweswariah.
10. Zero.
11. Digboi (Assam).
12. Rahula.
13. Seven
14. Yahya Khan.
15. 2062
16. Karakoram.
17. Lord Chelmsford.
18. Surat.
19. Adam Smith.
20. F.A.Barthodi (French Sculptor)
1. In addition to India, August 15 is Independence Day of which of the country?
2. Who is the first non-Indian to receive Bharat Ratna?
3. The three primary colours used in colour TV are?
4. ‘Nirmal Hriday’ located in Calcutta, was opened by? .
5. The immediate cause of American war of Independence was?
6. What type of mirror is used by a motorist to see the traffic behind him?
7. The popular song ‘Sare Jahan se Acha Hindustan Hamara’ was composed by?
8. Architectural design of Chandigrarh city was planned by?
9. Who is the builder of modern Mysore?
10. Weight of the body at the centre of the earth would be?
11. The first petroleum refinery in India was set up at?
12. The only son of Gautama Buddha was named?
13. How may countries does India have common boundary?
14. Who was the president of Pakistan at the time of formation of Bangladesh?
15. The Halley’s Comet will re-appear in?
16. The mountain range lying between Pamir plateau and Indus river is?
17. Who was the viceroy of India at the time of Jallian Wala Bagh Massacre?
18. The East India Company set up its first factory at?
19. The first scholar, who read Ashoka’s edicts, was?
20. ‘Statue of Liberty’ given to U.S.A. was made by?
ANSWERS..... ......... .......
1. South Korea.
2. Khan Abdul Gafferkhan.
3. Green-blue-red.
4. Mother Teresa
5. The Boston Tea Party.
6. Convex.
7. Muhamad Iqbal
8. Le Corbusier
9. M.Visweswariah.
10. Zero.
11. Digboi (Assam).
12. Rahula.
13. Seven
14. Yahya Khan.
15. 2062
16. Karakoram.
17. Lord Chelmsford.
18. Surat.
19. Adam Smith.
20. F.A.Barthodi (French Sculptor)
Some jokes to brighten your day!
Some jokes to brighten your day!
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
Watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
Then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'
And 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is
A sick eagle."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' level"
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
Watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
Then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ....
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'
And 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is
A sick eagle."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' level"
What are the top 10 reasons to walk?
What are the top 10 reasons to walk?
1. Walking prevents type 2 diabetes. The Diabetes Prevention Program showed that walking 150 minutes per week and losing just 7% of your body weight (12-15 pounds) can reduce your risk of diabetes by 58%.
2. Walking strengthens your heart if you're male. In one study, mortality rates among retired men who walked less than one mile per day were nearly twice that among those who walked more than two miles per day.
3. Walking strengthens your heart if you're female. Women in the Nurse's Health Study (72,488 female nurses) who walked three hours or more per week reduced their risk of a heart attack or other coronary event by 35% compared with women who did not walk.
4. Walking is good for your brain. In a study on walking and cognitive function, researchers found that women who walked the equivalent of an easy pace at least 1.5 hours per week had significantly better cognitive function and less cognitive decline than women who walked less than 40 minutes per week. Think about that!
5. Walking is good for your bones. Research shows that postmenopausal women who walk approximately one mile each day have higher whole-body bone density than women who walk shorter distances, and walking is also effective in slowing the rate of bone loss from the legs.
6. Walking helps alleviate symptoms of depression. Walking for 30 minutes, three to five times per week for 12 weeks reduced symptoms of depression as measured with a standard depression questionnaire by 47%.
7. Walking reduces the risk of breast and colon cancer. Women who performed the equivalent of one hour and 15 minutes to two and a half hours per week of brisk walking had an 18% decreased risk of breast cancer compared with inactive women. Many studies have shown that exercise can prevent colon cancer, and even if an individual person develops colon cancer, the benefits of exercise appear to continue both by increasing quality of life and reducing mortality.
8. Walking improves fitness. Walking just three times a week for 30 minutes can significantly increase cardiorespiratory fitness.
9. Walking in short bouts improves fitness, too! A study of sedentary women showed that short bouts of brisk walking (three 10-minute walks per day) resulted in similar improvements in fitness and were at least as effective in decreasing body fatness as long bouts (one 30-minute walk per day).
10. Walking improves physical function. Research shows that walking improves fitness and physical function and prevents physical disability in older persons.
The list goes on, but if I continued, there'd be no time for you to start walking! Suffice to say that walking is certainly good for you!
1. Walking prevents type 2 diabetes. The Diabetes Prevention Program showed that walking 150 minutes per week and losing just 7% of your body weight (12-15 pounds) can reduce your risk of diabetes by 58%.
2. Walking strengthens your heart if you're male. In one study, mortality rates among retired men who walked less than one mile per day were nearly twice that among those who walked more than two miles per day.
3. Walking strengthens your heart if you're female. Women in the Nurse's Health Study (72,488 female nurses) who walked three hours or more per week reduced their risk of a heart attack or other coronary event by 35% compared with women who did not walk.
4. Walking is good for your brain. In a study on walking and cognitive function, researchers found that women who walked the equivalent of an easy pace at least 1.5 hours per week had significantly better cognitive function and less cognitive decline than women who walked less than 40 minutes per week. Think about that!
5. Walking is good for your bones. Research shows that postmenopausal women who walk approximately one mile each day have higher whole-body bone density than women who walk shorter distances, and walking is also effective in slowing the rate of bone loss from the legs.
6. Walking helps alleviate symptoms of depression. Walking for 30 minutes, three to five times per week for 12 weeks reduced symptoms of depression as measured with a standard depression questionnaire by 47%.
7. Walking reduces the risk of breast and colon cancer. Women who performed the equivalent of one hour and 15 minutes to two and a half hours per week of brisk walking had an 18% decreased risk of breast cancer compared with inactive women. Many studies have shown that exercise can prevent colon cancer, and even if an individual person develops colon cancer, the benefits of exercise appear to continue both by increasing quality of life and reducing mortality.
8. Walking improves fitness. Walking just three times a week for 30 minutes can significantly increase cardiorespiratory fitness.
9. Walking in short bouts improves fitness, too! A study of sedentary women showed that short bouts of brisk walking (three 10-minute walks per day) resulted in similar improvements in fitness and were at least as effective in decreasing body fatness as long bouts (one 30-minute walk per day).
10. Walking improves physical function. Research shows that walking improves fitness and physical function and prevents physical disability in older persons.
The list goes on, but if I continued, there'd be no time for you to start walking! Suffice to say that walking is certainly good for you!
Lady Finger for Diabetes
Lady Finger for Diabetes(useful)
Note: This is a mail which I have received from a friend and do not know any one who has tried the following remedy. Though you will learn, it is not harmful,
Please note that another name for Lady Finger (Bhindi ) is " OKRA ".
Last month in one of TV program I learnt of a treatment of Sugar
(Diabetes). Since I am diabetic, I tried it and it was very useful and my
Sugar is in control now. In fact I have already reduced my medicine.
Take two pieces of Lady Finger (Bhindi) and remove/cut both ends of each
piece. Also put a small cut in the middle and put these two pieces in
glass of water. Cover the glass and keep it at room temperature during
night. Early morning, before breakfast simply remove two pieces of lady
finger (bhindi) from the glass and drink that water.
Keep doing it on daily basis.
Within two weeks, you will see remarkable results in reduction of your
SUGAR.
My sister has got rid of her diabetes. She was on Insulin for a few
years, but after taking the lady fingers every morning for a few months,
she has stopped Insulin but continues to take the lady fingers every
day. But she chops the lady fingers into fine pieces in the night, adds
the water and drinks it all up the next morning. Please. try it as it
will not do you any harm even if it does not do much good to you, but U
have to keep taking it for a few months before U see results, as most
cases might be chronic.
Note: This is a mail which I have received from a friend and do not know any one who has tried the following remedy. Though you will learn, it is not harmful,
Please note that another name for Lady Finger (Bhindi ) is " OKRA ".
Last month in one of TV program I learnt of a treatment of Sugar
(Diabetes). Since I am diabetic, I tried it and it was very useful and my
Sugar is in control now. In fact I have already reduced my medicine.
Take two pieces of Lady Finger (Bhindi) and remove/cut both ends of each
piece. Also put a small cut in the middle and put these two pieces in
glass of water. Cover the glass and keep it at room temperature during
night. Early morning, before breakfast simply remove two pieces of lady
finger (bhindi) from the glass and drink that water.
Keep doing it on daily basis.
Within two weeks, you will see remarkable results in reduction of your
SUGAR.
My sister has got rid of her diabetes. She was on Insulin for a few
years, but after taking the lady fingers every morning for a few months,
she has stopped Insulin but continues to take the lady fingers every
day. But she chops the lady fingers into fine pieces in the night, adds
the water and drinks it all up the next morning. Please. try it as it
will not do you any harm even if it does not do much good to you, but U
have to keep taking it for a few months before U see results, as most
cases might be chronic.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Sri Chanakya Niti-Sastra
Sri Chanakya Niti-Sastra
The Political Ethics of Chanakya Pandit
Compiled by Miles Davis (Patita Pavana dasa)
Chapter One
1. Humbly bowing down before the almighty Lord Sri Vishnu, the Lord of the three worlds, I recite maxims of the science of political ethics (niti) selected from the various satras (scriptures
2. That man who by the study of these maxims from the satras acquires a knowledge of the most celebrated principles of duty, and understands what ought and what ought not to be followed, and what is good and what is bad, is most excellent.
3. Therefore with an eye to the public good, I shall speak that which, when understood, will lead to an understanding of things in their proper perspective.
4. Even a pandit comes to grief by giving instruction to a foolish disciple, by maintaining a wicked wife, and by excessive familiarity with the miserable.
5. A wicked wife, a false friend, a saucy servant and living in a house with a serpent in it are nothing but death.
6. One should save his money against hard times, save his wife at the sacrifice of his riches, but invariably one should save his soul even at the sacrifice of his wife and riches.
7. Save your wealth against future calamity. Do not say, "What fear has a rich man, of calamity?" When riches begin to forsake one even the accumulated stock dwindles away.
8. Do not inhabit a country where you are not respected, cannot earn your livelihood, have no friends, or cannot acquire knowledge.
9. Do not stay for a single day where there are not these five persons: a wealthy man, a brahmin well versed in Vedic lore, a king, a river and a physician
10. Wise men should never go into a country where there are no means of earning one's livelihood, where the people have no dread of anybody, have no sense of shame, no intelligence, or a charitable disposition.
11. Test a servant while in the discharge of his duty, a relative in difficulty, a friend in adversity, and a wife in misfortun.
12. He is a true friend who does not forsake us in time of need, misfortune, famine, or war, in a king's court, or at the crematorium (smasana).
13. He who gives up what is imperishable for that which is perishable, loses that which is imperishable; and doubtlessly loses that which is perishable also.
14. A wise man should marry a virgin of a respectable family even if she is deformed. He should not marry one of a low-class family, through beauty. Marriage in a family of equal status is preferable.
15. Do not put your trust in rivers, men who carry weapons, beasts with claws or horns, women, and members of a royal family
16. Even from poison extract nectar, wash and take back gold if it has fallen in filth, receive the highest knowledge (Krsna consciousness) from a low born person; so also a girl possessing virtuous qualities (stri-ratna) even if she were born in a disreputable family.
17. Women have hunger two-fold, shyness four-fold, daring six-fold, and lust eight-fold as compared to men
Chapter Two
1. Untruthfulness, rashness, guile, stupidity, avarice, uncleanliness and cruelty are a woman's seven natural flaws
2. To have ability for eating when dishes are ready at hand, to be robust and virile in the company of one's religiously wedded wife, and to have a mind for making charity when one is prosperous are the fruits of no ordinary austerities.
3. He whose son is obedient to him, whose wife's conduct is in accordance with his wishes, and who is content with his riches, has his heaven here on earth.
4. They alone are sons who are devoted to their father. He is a father who supports his sons. He is a friend in whom we can confide, and she only is a wife in whose company the husband feels contented and peaceful.
5. Avoid him who talks sweetly before you but tries to ruin you behind your back, for he is like a pitcher of poison with milk on top.
6. Do not put your trust in a bad companion nor even trust an ordinary friend, for if he should get angry with you, he may bring all your secrets to light.
7. Do not reveal what you have thought upon doing, but by wise counsel keep it secret, being determined to carry it into execution.
8. Foolishness is indeed painful, and verily so is youth, but more painful by far than either is being obliged in another person's house.
9. There does not exist a pearl in every mountain, nor a pearl in the head of every elephant; neither are the sadhus to be found everywhere, nor sandal trees in every forest.
[Note: Only elephants in royal palaces are seen decorated with pearls (precious stones) on their heads].
10. Wise men should always bring up their sons in various moral ways, for children who have knowledge of niti-sastra and are well behaved become a glory to their family.
11. Those parents who do not educate their sons are their enemies; for as is a crane among swans, so are ignorant sons in a public assembly>
12. Many a bad habit is developed through over indulgence, and many a good one by chastisement, therefore beat your son as well as your pupil; never indulge them. ("Spare the rod and spoil the child."
13. Let not a single day pass without your learning a verse, half a verse, or a fourth of it, or even one letter of it; nor without attending to charity, study and other pious activity.
14. Separation from the wife, disgrace from one's own people, an enemy saved in battle, service to a wicked king, poverty, and a mismanaged assembly: these six kinds of evils, if afflicting a person, burn him even without fire
15. Trees on a riverbank, a woman in another man's house, and kings without counsellors go without doubt to swift destruction.
16. A brahmin's strength is in his learning, a king's strength is in his army, a vaishya's strength is in his wealth and a shudra's strength is in his attitude of service
17. The prostitute has to forsake a man who has no money, the subject a king that cannot defend him, the birds a tree that bears no fruit, and the guests a house after they have finished their meals.
18. Brahmins quit their patrons after receiving alms from them, scholars leave their teachers after receiving education from them, and animals desert a forest that has been burnt down.
19. He who befriends a man whose conduct is vicious, whose vision impure, and who is notoriously crooked, is rapidly ruined.
20. Friendship between equals flourishes, service under a king is respectable, it is good to be business-minded in public dealings, and a handsome lady is safe in her own home.
Chapter Three
1. In this world, whose family is there without blemish? Who is free from sickness and grief? Who is forever happy?
2. A man's descent may be discerned by his conduct, his country by his pronunciation of language, his friendship by his warmth and glow, and his capacity to eat by his body.
3. Give your daughter in marriage to a good family, engage your son in learning, see that your enemy comes to grief, and engage your friends in dharma. (Krsna consciousness) .
4. Of a rascal and a serpent, the serpent is the better of the two, for he strikes only at the time he is destined to kill, while the former at every step.
5. Therefore kings gather round themselves men of good families, for they never forsake them either at the beginning, the middle or the end.
6. At the time of the pralaya (universal destruction) the oceans are to exceed their limits and seek to change, but a saintly man never changes.
7. Do not keep company with a fool for as we can see he is a two-legged beast. Like an unseen thorn he pierces the heart with his sharp words.
8. Though men be endowed with beauty and youth and born in noble families, yet without education they are like the palasa flower, which is void of sweet fragrance.
9. The beauty of a cuckoo is in its notes, that of a woman in her unalloyed devotion to her husband, that of an ugly person in his scholarship, and that of an ascetic in his forgiveness.
10. Give up a member to save a family, a family to save a village, a village to save a country, and the country to save yourself.
11. There is no poverty for the industrious. Sin does not attach itself to the person practicing japa (chanting of the holy names of the Lord). Those who are absorbed in maunam (silent contemplation of the Lord) have no quarrel with others. They are fearless who remain always alert.
12.-13.
What is too heavy for the strong and what place is too distant for those who put forth effort? What country is foreign to a man of true learning? Who can be inimical to one who speaks pleasingly?
14. As a whole forest becomes fragrant by the existence of a single tree with sweet-smelling blossoms in it, so a family becomes famous by the birth of a virtuous son.
15. As a single withered tree, if set aflame, causes a whole forest to burn, so does a rascal son destroy a whole family.
16. As night looks delightful when the moon shines, so is a family gladdened by even one learned and virtuous son.
17. What is the use of having many sons if they cause grief and vexation? It is better to have only one son from whom the whole family can derive support and peacefulness.
18. Fondle a son until he is five years of age, and use the stick for another ten years, but when he has attained his sixteenth year treat him as a friend.
19. He who runs away from a fearful calamity, a foreign invasion, a terrible famine, and the companionship of wicked men is safe.
20. He who has not acquired one of the following: religious merit (dharma), wealth (artha), satisfaction of desires (kama ), or liberation (moksa) is repeatedly born to die
21. Lakshmi, the Goddess of wealth, comes of Her own accord where fools are not respected, grain is well stored up, and the husband and wife do not quarrel.
Chapter Four
1. These five: the life span, the type of work, wealth, learning and the time of one's death are determined while one is in the womb.
2. Offspring, friends and relatives flee from a devotee of the Lord: yet those who follow him bring merit to their families through their devotion.
3. Fish, tortoises, and birds bring up their young by means of sight, attention and touch; so do saintly men afford protection to their associates by the same means.
4. As long as your body is healthy and under control and death is distant, try to save your soul; when death is imminent what can you do?
5. Learning is like a cow of desire. It, like her, yields in all seasons. Like a mother, it feeds you on your journey. Therefore learning is a hidden treasure.
6. A single son endowed with good qualities is far better than a hundred devoid of them. For the moon, though one, dispels the darkness, which the stars, though numerous, cannot.
7. A stillborn son is superior to a foolish son endowed with a long life. The first causes grief for but a moment while the latter like a blazing fire consumes his parents in grief for life.
8. Residing in a small village devoid of proper living facilities, serving a person born of a low family, unwholesome food, a frowning wife, a foolish son, and a widowed daughter burn the body without fire.
9. What good is a cow that neither gives milk nor conceives? Similarly, what is the value of the birth of a son if he becomes neither learned nor a pure devotee of the Lord?
10. When one is consumed by the sorrows of life, three things give him relief: offspring, a wife, and the company of the Lord's devotees.
11. Kings speak for once, men of learning once, and the daughter is given in marriage once. All these things happen once and only once.
12. Religious austerities should be practiced alone, study by two, and singing by three. A journey should be undertaken by four, agriculture by five, and war by many together.
13. She is a true wife who is clean (suci), expert, chaste, pleasing to the husband, and truthful.
14. The house of a childless person is a void, all directions are void to one who has no relatives, the heart of a fool is also void, but to a poverty-stricken man all is void.
15. Scriptural lessons not put into practice are poison; a meal is poison to him who suffers from indigestion; a social gathering is poison to a poverty-stricken person; and a young wife is poison to an aged man.
16. That man who is without religion and mercy should be rejected. A guru without spiritual knowledge should be rejected. The wife with an offensive face should be given up, and so should relatives who are without affection.
17. Constant travel brings old age upon a man; a horse becomes old by being constantly tied up; lack of sexual contact with her husband brings old age upon a woman; and garments become old through being left in the sun.
18. Consider again and again the following: the right time, the right friends, the right place, the right means of income, the right ways of spending, and from whom you derive your power.
19. For the twice born the fire (Agni) is a representative of God. The Supreme Lord resides in the heart of His devotees. Those of average intelligence (alpa-buddhi or kanista-adhikari) see God only in His sri-murti, but those of broad vision see the Supreme Lord everywhere.
Chapter Five
1. Agni is the worshipable person for the twice born; the brahmana for the other castes; the husband for the wife; and the guest who comes for food at the midday meal for all.
2. As gold is tested in four ways by rubbing, cutting, heating and beating -- so a man should be tested by these four things: his renunciation, his conduct, his qualities and his actions.
3. A thing may be dreaded as long as it has not overtaken you, but once it has come upon you, try to get rid of it without hesitation.
4. Though persons be born from the same womb and under the same stars, they do not become alike in disposition as the thousand fruits of the badari tree.
5. He whose hands are clean does not like to hold an office; he who desires nothing cares not for bodily decorations; he who is only partially educated cannot speak agreeably; and he who speaks out plainly cannot be a deceiver.
6. The learned are envied by the foolish; rich men by the poor; chaste women by adulteresses; and beautiful ladies by ugly ones
7. Indolent application ruins study; money is lost when entrusted to others; a farmer who sows his seed sparsely is ruined; and an army is lost for want of a commander.
8. Learning is retained through putting into practice; family prestige is maintained through good behaviour; a respectable person is recognised by his excellent qualities; and anger is seen in the eyes.
9. Religion is preserved by wealth; knowledge by diligent practice; a king by conciliatory words; and a home by a dutiful housewife.
10. Those who blaspheme Vedic wisdom, who ridicule the life style recommended in the satras, and who deride men of peaceful temperament, come to grief unnecessarily.
11. Charity puts and end to poverty; righteous conduct to misery; discretion to ignorance; and scrutiny to fear.
12. There is no disease (so destructive) as lust; no enemy like infatuation; no fire like wrath; and no happiness like spiritual knowledge.
13. A man is born alone and dies alone; and he experiences the good and bad consequences of his karma alone; and he goes alone to hell or the Supreme abode.
14. Heaven is but a straw to him who knows spiritual life (Krsna consciousness) ; so is life to a valiant man; a woman to him who has subdued his senses; and the universe to him who is without attachment for the world.
15. Learning is a friend on the journey; a wife in the house; medicine in sickness; and religious merit is the only friend after death.
16. Rain which falls upon the sea is useless; so is food for one who is satiated; in vain is a gift for one who is wealthy; and a burning lamp during the daytime is useless.
17. There is no water like rainwater; no strength like one's own; no light like that of the eyes; and no wealth more dear than food grain.
18. The poor wish for wealth; animals for the faculty of speech; men wish for heaven; and godly persons for liberation.
19. The earth is supported by the power of truth; it is the power of truth that makes the sunshine and the winds blow; indeed all things rest upon truth.
20. The Goddess of wealth is unsteady (chanchala), and so is the life breath. The duration of life is uncertain, and the place of habitation is uncertain; but in all this inconsistent world religious merit alone is immovable.
21. Among men the barber is cunning; among birds the crow; among beasts the jackal; and among women, the malin (flower girl).
22. These five are your fathers; he who gave you birth, girdled you with sacred thread, teaches you, provides you with food, and protects you from fearful situations.
23. These five should be considered as mothers; the king's wife, the preceptor's wife, the friend's wife, your wife's mother, and your own mother.
Chapter Six
1. By means of hearing one understands dharma, malignity vanishes, knowledge is acquired, and liberation from material bondage is gained.
2. Among birds the crow is vile; among beasts the dog; the ascetic whose sins is abominable, but he who blasphemes others is the worst chandala.
>3. Brass is polished by ashes; copper is cleaned by tamarind; a woman, by her menses; and a river by its flow.
4. The king, the brahmana, and the ascetic yogi who go abroad are respected; but the woman who wanders is utterly ruined.
5. He who has wealth has friends. He who is wealthy has relatives. The rich one alone is called a man, and the affluent alone are respected as pandits
6. As is the desire of Providence , so functions one's intellect; one's activities are also controlled by Providence ; and by the will of Providence one is surrounded by helpers.
7. Time perfects all living beings as well as kills them; it alone is awake when all others are asleep. Time is insurmountable.
8. Those born blind cannot see; similarly blind are those in the grip of lust. Proud men have no perception of evil; and those bent on acquiring riches see no sin in their actions.
9. The spirit soul goes through his own course of karma and he himself suffers the good and bad results thereby accrued. By his own actions he entangles himself in samsara, and by his own efforts he extricates himself.
10. The king is obliged to accept the sins of his subjects; the purohit (priest) suffers for those of the king; a husband suffers for those of his wife; and the guru suffers for those of his pupils.
11. A father who is a chronic debtor, an adulterous mother, a beautiful wife, and an unlearned son are enemies ( in one's own home).
12. Conciliate a covetous man by means of a gift, an obstinate man with folded hands in salutation, a fool by humouring him, and a learned man by truthful words.
13. It is better to be without a kingdom than to rule over a petty one; better to be without a friend than to befriend a rascal; better to be without a disciple than to have a stupid one; and better to be without a wife than to have a bad one.
14. How can people be made happy in a petty kingdom? What peace can we expect from a rascal friend? What happiness can we have at home in the company of a bad wife? How can renown be gained by instructing an unworthy disciple?
15. Learn one thing from a lion; one from a crane; four a cock; five from a crow; six from a dog; and three from an ass.
16. The one excellent thing that can be learned from a lion is that whatever a man intends doing should be done by him with a whole-hearted and strenuous effort.
17. The wise man should restrain his senses like the crane and accomplish his purpose with due knowledge of his place, time and ability.
18. To wake at the proper time; to take a bold stand and fight; to make a fair division (of property) among relations; and to earn one's own bread by personal exertion are the four excellent things to be learned from a cock.
19. Union in privacy (with one's wife); boldness; storing away useful items; watchfulness; and not easily trusting others; these five things are to be learned from a crow.
20. Contentment with little or nothing to eat although one may have a great appetite; to awaken instantly although one may be in a deep slumber; unflinching devotion to the master; and bravery; these six qualities should be learned from the dog.
21. Although an ass is tired, he continues to carry his burden; he is unmindful of cold and heat; and he is always contented; these three things should be learned from the ass.
22. He who shall practice these twenty virtues shall become invincible in all his undertakings.
The Political Ethics of Chanakya Pandit
Compiled by Miles Davis (Patita Pavana dasa)
Chapter One
1. Humbly bowing down before the almighty Lord Sri Vishnu, the Lord of the three worlds, I recite maxims of the science of political ethics (niti) selected from the various satras (scriptures
2. That man who by the study of these maxims from the satras acquires a knowledge of the most celebrated principles of duty, and understands what ought and what ought not to be followed, and what is good and what is bad, is most excellent.
3. Therefore with an eye to the public good, I shall speak that which, when understood, will lead to an understanding of things in their proper perspective.
4. Even a pandit comes to grief by giving instruction to a foolish disciple, by maintaining a wicked wife, and by excessive familiarity with the miserable.
5. A wicked wife, a false friend, a saucy servant and living in a house with a serpent in it are nothing but death.
6. One should save his money against hard times, save his wife at the sacrifice of his riches, but invariably one should save his soul even at the sacrifice of his wife and riches.
7. Save your wealth against future calamity. Do not say, "What fear has a rich man, of calamity?" When riches begin to forsake one even the accumulated stock dwindles away.
8. Do not inhabit a country where you are not respected, cannot earn your livelihood, have no friends, or cannot acquire knowledge.
9. Do not stay for a single day where there are not these five persons: a wealthy man, a brahmin well versed in Vedic lore, a king, a river and a physician
10. Wise men should never go into a country where there are no means of earning one's livelihood, where the people have no dread of anybody, have no sense of shame, no intelligence, or a charitable disposition.
11. Test a servant while in the discharge of his duty, a relative in difficulty, a friend in adversity, and a wife in misfortun.
12. He is a true friend who does not forsake us in time of need, misfortune, famine, or war, in a king's court, or at the crematorium (smasana).
13. He who gives up what is imperishable for that which is perishable, loses that which is imperishable; and doubtlessly loses that which is perishable also.
14. A wise man should marry a virgin of a respectable family even if she is deformed. He should not marry one of a low-class family, through beauty. Marriage in a family of equal status is preferable.
15. Do not put your trust in rivers, men who carry weapons, beasts with claws or horns, women, and members of a royal family
16. Even from poison extract nectar, wash and take back gold if it has fallen in filth, receive the highest knowledge (Krsna consciousness) from a low born person; so also a girl possessing virtuous qualities (stri-ratna) even if she were born in a disreputable family.
17. Women have hunger two-fold, shyness four-fold, daring six-fold, and lust eight-fold as compared to men
Chapter Two
1. Untruthfulness, rashness, guile, stupidity, avarice, uncleanliness and cruelty are a woman's seven natural flaws
2. To have ability for eating when dishes are ready at hand, to be robust and virile in the company of one's religiously wedded wife, and to have a mind for making charity when one is prosperous are the fruits of no ordinary austerities.
3. He whose son is obedient to him, whose wife's conduct is in accordance with his wishes, and who is content with his riches, has his heaven here on earth.
4. They alone are sons who are devoted to their father. He is a father who supports his sons. He is a friend in whom we can confide, and she only is a wife in whose company the husband feels contented and peaceful.
5. Avoid him who talks sweetly before you but tries to ruin you behind your back, for he is like a pitcher of poison with milk on top.
6. Do not put your trust in a bad companion nor even trust an ordinary friend, for if he should get angry with you, he may bring all your secrets to light.
7. Do not reveal what you have thought upon doing, but by wise counsel keep it secret, being determined to carry it into execution.
8. Foolishness is indeed painful, and verily so is youth, but more painful by far than either is being obliged in another person's house.
9. There does not exist a pearl in every mountain, nor a pearl in the head of every elephant; neither are the sadhus to be found everywhere, nor sandal trees in every forest.
[Note: Only elephants in royal palaces are seen decorated with pearls (precious stones) on their heads].
10. Wise men should always bring up their sons in various moral ways, for children who have knowledge of niti-sastra and are well behaved become a glory to their family.
11. Those parents who do not educate their sons are their enemies; for as is a crane among swans, so are ignorant sons in a public assembly>
12. Many a bad habit is developed through over indulgence, and many a good one by chastisement, therefore beat your son as well as your pupil; never indulge them. ("Spare the rod and spoil the child."
13. Let not a single day pass without your learning a verse, half a verse, or a fourth of it, or even one letter of it; nor without attending to charity, study and other pious activity.
14. Separation from the wife, disgrace from one's own people, an enemy saved in battle, service to a wicked king, poverty, and a mismanaged assembly: these six kinds of evils, if afflicting a person, burn him even without fire
15. Trees on a riverbank, a woman in another man's house, and kings without counsellors go without doubt to swift destruction.
16. A brahmin's strength is in his learning, a king's strength is in his army, a vaishya's strength is in his wealth and a shudra's strength is in his attitude of service
17. The prostitute has to forsake a man who has no money, the subject a king that cannot defend him, the birds a tree that bears no fruit, and the guests a house after they have finished their meals.
18. Brahmins quit their patrons after receiving alms from them, scholars leave their teachers after receiving education from them, and animals desert a forest that has been burnt down.
19. He who befriends a man whose conduct is vicious, whose vision impure, and who is notoriously crooked, is rapidly ruined.
20. Friendship between equals flourishes, service under a king is respectable, it is good to be business-minded in public dealings, and a handsome lady is safe in her own home.
Chapter Three
1. In this world, whose family is there without blemish? Who is free from sickness and grief? Who is forever happy?
2. A man's descent may be discerned by his conduct, his country by his pronunciation of language, his friendship by his warmth and glow, and his capacity to eat by his body.
3. Give your daughter in marriage to a good family, engage your son in learning, see that your enemy comes to grief, and engage your friends in dharma. (Krsna consciousness) .
4. Of a rascal and a serpent, the serpent is the better of the two, for he strikes only at the time he is destined to kill, while the former at every step.
5. Therefore kings gather round themselves men of good families, for they never forsake them either at the beginning, the middle or the end.
6. At the time of the pralaya (universal destruction) the oceans are to exceed their limits and seek to change, but a saintly man never changes.
7. Do not keep company with a fool for as we can see he is a two-legged beast. Like an unseen thorn he pierces the heart with his sharp words.
8. Though men be endowed with beauty and youth and born in noble families, yet without education they are like the palasa flower, which is void of sweet fragrance.
9. The beauty of a cuckoo is in its notes, that of a woman in her unalloyed devotion to her husband, that of an ugly person in his scholarship, and that of an ascetic in his forgiveness.
10. Give up a member to save a family, a family to save a village, a village to save a country, and the country to save yourself.
11. There is no poverty for the industrious. Sin does not attach itself to the person practicing japa (chanting of the holy names of the Lord). Those who are absorbed in maunam (silent contemplation of the Lord) have no quarrel with others. They are fearless who remain always alert.
12.-13.
What is too heavy for the strong and what place is too distant for those who put forth effort? What country is foreign to a man of true learning? Who can be inimical to one who speaks pleasingly?
14. As a whole forest becomes fragrant by the existence of a single tree with sweet-smelling blossoms in it, so a family becomes famous by the birth of a virtuous son.
15. As a single withered tree, if set aflame, causes a whole forest to burn, so does a rascal son destroy a whole family.
16. As night looks delightful when the moon shines, so is a family gladdened by even one learned and virtuous son.
17. What is the use of having many sons if they cause grief and vexation? It is better to have only one son from whom the whole family can derive support and peacefulness.
18. Fondle a son until he is five years of age, and use the stick for another ten years, but when he has attained his sixteenth year treat him as a friend.
19. He who runs away from a fearful calamity, a foreign invasion, a terrible famine, and the companionship of wicked men is safe.
20. He who has not acquired one of the following: religious merit (dharma), wealth (artha), satisfaction of desires (kama ), or liberation (moksa) is repeatedly born to die
21. Lakshmi, the Goddess of wealth, comes of Her own accord where fools are not respected, grain is well stored up, and the husband and wife do not quarrel.
Chapter Four
1. These five: the life span, the type of work, wealth, learning and the time of one's death are determined while one is in the womb.
2. Offspring, friends and relatives flee from a devotee of the Lord: yet those who follow him bring merit to their families through their devotion.
3. Fish, tortoises, and birds bring up their young by means of sight, attention and touch; so do saintly men afford protection to their associates by the same means.
4. As long as your body is healthy and under control and death is distant, try to save your soul; when death is imminent what can you do?
5. Learning is like a cow of desire. It, like her, yields in all seasons. Like a mother, it feeds you on your journey. Therefore learning is a hidden treasure.
6. A single son endowed with good qualities is far better than a hundred devoid of them. For the moon, though one, dispels the darkness, which the stars, though numerous, cannot.
7. A stillborn son is superior to a foolish son endowed with a long life. The first causes grief for but a moment while the latter like a blazing fire consumes his parents in grief for life.
8. Residing in a small village devoid of proper living facilities, serving a person born of a low family, unwholesome food, a frowning wife, a foolish son, and a widowed daughter burn the body without fire.
9. What good is a cow that neither gives milk nor conceives? Similarly, what is the value of the birth of a son if he becomes neither learned nor a pure devotee of the Lord?
10. When one is consumed by the sorrows of life, three things give him relief: offspring, a wife, and the company of the Lord's devotees.
11. Kings speak for once, men of learning once, and the daughter is given in marriage once. All these things happen once and only once.
12. Religious austerities should be practiced alone, study by two, and singing by three. A journey should be undertaken by four, agriculture by five, and war by many together.
13. She is a true wife who is clean (suci), expert, chaste, pleasing to the husband, and truthful.
14. The house of a childless person is a void, all directions are void to one who has no relatives, the heart of a fool is also void, but to a poverty-stricken man all is void.
15. Scriptural lessons not put into practice are poison; a meal is poison to him who suffers from indigestion; a social gathering is poison to a poverty-stricken person; and a young wife is poison to an aged man.
16. That man who is without religion and mercy should be rejected. A guru without spiritual knowledge should be rejected. The wife with an offensive face should be given up, and so should relatives who are without affection.
17. Constant travel brings old age upon a man; a horse becomes old by being constantly tied up; lack of sexual contact with her husband brings old age upon a woman; and garments become old through being left in the sun.
18. Consider again and again the following: the right time, the right friends, the right place, the right means of income, the right ways of spending, and from whom you derive your power.
19. For the twice born the fire (Agni) is a representative of God. The Supreme Lord resides in the heart of His devotees. Those of average intelligence (alpa-buddhi or kanista-adhikari) see God only in His sri-murti, but those of broad vision see the Supreme Lord everywhere.
Chapter Five
1. Agni is the worshipable person for the twice born; the brahmana for the other castes; the husband for the wife; and the guest who comes for food at the midday meal for all.
2. As gold is tested in four ways by rubbing, cutting, heating and beating -- so a man should be tested by these four things: his renunciation, his conduct, his qualities and his actions.
3. A thing may be dreaded as long as it has not overtaken you, but once it has come upon you, try to get rid of it without hesitation.
4. Though persons be born from the same womb and under the same stars, they do not become alike in disposition as the thousand fruits of the badari tree.
5. He whose hands are clean does not like to hold an office; he who desires nothing cares not for bodily decorations; he who is only partially educated cannot speak agreeably; and he who speaks out plainly cannot be a deceiver.
6. The learned are envied by the foolish; rich men by the poor; chaste women by adulteresses; and beautiful ladies by ugly ones
7. Indolent application ruins study; money is lost when entrusted to others; a farmer who sows his seed sparsely is ruined; and an army is lost for want of a commander.
8. Learning is retained through putting into practice; family prestige is maintained through good behaviour; a respectable person is recognised by his excellent qualities; and anger is seen in the eyes.
9. Religion is preserved by wealth; knowledge by diligent practice; a king by conciliatory words; and a home by a dutiful housewife.
10. Those who blaspheme Vedic wisdom, who ridicule the life style recommended in the satras, and who deride men of peaceful temperament, come to grief unnecessarily.
11. Charity puts and end to poverty; righteous conduct to misery; discretion to ignorance; and scrutiny to fear.
12. There is no disease (so destructive) as lust; no enemy like infatuation; no fire like wrath; and no happiness like spiritual knowledge.
13. A man is born alone and dies alone; and he experiences the good and bad consequences of his karma alone; and he goes alone to hell or the Supreme abode.
14. Heaven is but a straw to him who knows spiritual life (Krsna consciousness) ; so is life to a valiant man; a woman to him who has subdued his senses; and the universe to him who is without attachment for the world.
15. Learning is a friend on the journey; a wife in the house; medicine in sickness; and religious merit is the only friend after death.
16. Rain which falls upon the sea is useless; so is food for one who is satiated; in vain is a gift for one who is wealthy; and a burning lamp during the daytime is useless.
17. There is no water like rainwater; no strength like one's own; no light like that of the eyes; and no wealth more dear than food grain.
18. The poor wish for wealth; animals for the faculty of speech; men wish for heaven; and godly persons for liberation.
19. The earth is supported by the power of truth; it is the power of truth that makes the sunshine and the winds blow; indeed all things rest upon truth.
20. The Goddess of wealth is unsteady (chanchala), and so is the life breath. The duration of life is uncertain, and the place of habitation is uncertain; but in all this inconsistent world religious merit alone is immovable.
21. Among men the barber is cunning; among birds the crow; among beasts the jackal; and among women, the malin (flower girl).
22. These five are your fathers; he who gave you birth, girdled you with sacred thread, teaches you, provides you with food, and protects you from fearful situations.
23. These five should be considered as mothers; the king's wife, the preceptor's wife, the friend's wife, your wife's mother, and your own mother.
Chapter Six
1. By means of hearing one understands dharma, malignity vanishes, knowledge is acquired, and liberation from material bondage is gained.
2. Among birds the crow is vile; among beasts the dog; the ascetic whose sins is abominable, but he who blasphemes others is the worst chandala.
>3. Brass is polished by ashes; copper is cleaned by tamarind; a woman, by her menses; and a river by its flow.
4. The king, the brahmana, and the ascetic yogi who go abroad are respected; but the woman who wanders is utterly ruined.
5. He who has wealth has friends. He who is wealthy has relatives. The rich one alone is called a man, and the affluent alone are respected as pandits
6. As is the desire of Providence , so functions one's intellect; one's activities are also controlled by Providence ; and by the will of Providence one is surrounded by helpers.
7. Time perfects all living beings as well as kills them; it alone is awake when all others are asleep. Time is insurmountable.
8. Those born blind cannot see; similarly blind are those in the grip of lust. Proud men have no perception of evil; and those bent on acquiring riches see no sin in their actions.
9. The spirit soul goes through his own course of karma and he himself suffers the good and bad results thereby accrued. By his own actions he entangles himself in samsara, and by his own efforts he extricates himself.
10. The king is obliged to accept the sins of his subjects; the purohit (priest) suffers for those of the king; a husband suffers for those of his wife; and the guru suffers for those of his pupils.
11. A father who is a chronic debtor, an adulterous mother, a beautiful wife, and an unlearned son are enemies ( in one's own home).
12. Conciliate a covetous man by means of a gift, an obstinate man with folded hands in salutation, a fool by humouring him, and a learned man by truthful words.
13. It is better to be without a kingdom than to rule over a petty one; better to be without a friend than to befriend a rascal; better to be without a disciple than to have a stupid one; and better to be without a wife than to have a bad one.
14. How can people be made happy in a petty kingdom? What peace can we expect from a rascal friend? What happiness can we have at home in the company of a bad wife? How can renown be gained by instructing an unworthy disciple?
15. Learn one thing from a lion; one from a crane; four a cock; five from a crow; six from a dog; and three from an ass.
16. The one excellent thing that can be learned from a lion is that whatever a man intends doing should be done by him with a whole-hearted and strenuous effort.
17. The wise man should restrain his senses like the crane and accomplish his purpose with due knowledge of his place, time and ability.
18. To wake at the proper time; to take a bold stand and fight; to make a fair division (of property) among relations; and to earn one's own bread by personal exertion are the four excellent things to be learned from a cock.
19. Union in privacy (with one's wife); boldness; storing away useful items; watchfulness; and not easily trusting others; these five things are to be learned from a crow.
20. Contentment with little or nothing to eat although one may have a great appetite; to awaken instantly although one may be in a deep slumber; unflinching devotion to the master; and bravery; these six qualities should be learned from the dog.
21. Although an ass is tired, he continues to carry his burden; he is unmindful of cold and heat; and he is always contented; these three things should be learned from the ass.
22. He who shall practice these twenty virtues shall become invincible in all his undertakings.
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