Some Good Jokes for you... Must Read and Forward

Some Good Jokes for you... Must Read and Forward..


Boy said to Girl- Aa mere dil me aajaGirl replied- Chappal utaroo kya?
Boy- Chal pagli ye koi mandir thode hi h aise hi aaja************ ********* ****
Girl- hamari shaadi ko 24 ghante ho chuke hboy- aur aisa lag raha h jaise kal ki hi baat ho************ ********* ****
BRAIN TUMOR:Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain! ************ ********* ****
MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!************ ********* ****WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!************ ********* ****AT AN ATM MACHINE:Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!************ ********* ****
Marriage:Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.************ ********* ****CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.************ ********* ****DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louderFriend: what now?Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!************ ********* ****MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.************ ********* **** Spelling lesson:Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful.. ..is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!************ ********* ****
teacher:what do you call person who cannot hear anything
studant:you can call him any thing,because he cannot hear anything.************ ********* ****mil gaya,oye hoye mil gaya, balle balle mil gaya, dhinchak dhincak koi mil gaya, apna sara kaam chhos kar fizool ka SMS parnewaala ek aur BEWAKUFF!! mil gaya.************ ********* **** why women live a better, longer & peacefull life?because women dont have a wife...************ ********* ****church ke gate par likha tha:jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri sharan me aaye,ek callgirl ne niche apna mibile no. likh diya:aur jo nahi thake wo meri sharan me aaye..************ ********* **** ladkiya kadko k saamne aane k baad hi kyu apna dupatta thik karti haikyunki, lutero ko dekhne k baad hi apni dolat ki hifazat ka khayal aata hai..************ ********* ****ek gujju ka sapne me kisi ne rape kar diyanext day us ne apna bank account band karva diyakuonki, bank me likha tha: ham aap k sapno ko haqiqat me badal denge..************ ********* ****baap: beta mene tumhare liye ek ladki dhundhi haiwo roopvati, gunvati aur sarasvati hai..beta:lekin me kisi aur ladki se pyaar karta huaur wo GARBHVATI hai..************ ********* ****Old Man-"putar ander se mere daant le aa"Pota-"par dada ji abhi roti to bani nahi"Budda-- "o nahi putar roti nahi khani samne wali buddi nu smile deni a "************ ********* ****Child: Mom is bar hum sare patakhe is shop se lein gey,Mom : lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai,Child: Papa to kahte hain k sari phul-jhadiyan yahi rahti hain.************ ********* ****Ek ladke ko kya chahiye?Ek ladki jo pyar de,Ek ladki jo acha khana banaye,Ek ladki jo us ki khob khidmat kare,Aur ye teeno larkiyan mil jul kar rahain. :p************ ********* ****Husband apni wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.Janaze k aage ek kutta aur peche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
Ek aadmi aakar pochta hai : bhai sahab ye sab kaise hua?Husband : is kutte ne kaat liya tha.Aadmi : ye kutta ek din k liye udhar main de do.Husband : peche line main lago. :p************ ********* ****TAKE A LOOK:Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."Customer : "Ok."Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer : "No."Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"Customer : "No."Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up untilthis point?"Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."************ ********* ****Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am stillgetting the same error message."Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"************ ********* ****Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."Customer : "What?"Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"Customer: "No..."************ ********* ****Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)************ ********* ****Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"Tech support : ??????************ ********* ****Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."Tech support : ?????************ ********* ****Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"Customer : "Pentium."Tech support : ??????************ ********* ****Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."Tech Support : ??????************ ********* ****Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"Tech support : ??????************ ********* ****Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need toprint document, but the computer won't boot properly."Tech Support : "What does it say?"Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."Tech support : ?????************ ********* ****Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open24 hours."Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"************ ********* ****Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."Tech Support : "Well?"Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"Tech support : ??????************ ********* ****The best of the lotA plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report thathis computer is faulty.Tech: What's the problem?User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.Tech: (keep quite)Tech: You'll need a new power supply.User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startupand it will fix theproblem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.Tech support::10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but thereis an undocumented DOScommand that will fix the problem.User: I knew it!Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE . COM atthe end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.10 minutes later.User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?User : MS-DOS 6.22 .Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come withNOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give youthe file. Let me know how it goes.1 hour later.User : I need a new power supply.Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and hestarted asking questions about the make of power supply.Tech: Then what did he say?User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.************ ********* ****Hight Of all (Too Good)customer care officer: I need a product identification numberright now and may I help u infinding it out?Customer: sureCCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?************ ********* ****