Jokes Duniya

Jokes Duniya

Pandit : Tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiya aayengi.Thambu : Wow, kya baat hai.Pandit: Zyada khush honey ki baat nahi hai. Ek gharwali aur 5 betiya hai************

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Boy : Jaan-e-man… ees dil me aaja na!Girl : Sandal nikalu kya?Boy : Pagli, yeh mandir nahi… aise hi aaja!!************ ********* ********* *

Sardar: Mere podho ko pani de ramu.Ramu: Sir barish gir rahi hai!Sardar: Bahana nahi chahiae, chata leke ja… ************ ********* **

Ek baar ek terrorist ne Ritu ke ghar mein bomb rakh diya.Log chillaye : Ritu bomb hai, Ritu bomb hai.Ritu sambhal kar boli : Dhatt teri ki, woh toh mein jawani mein thi !! Ab nahi rahi. ************ ********* ********* *****

Maa apne bete se kehti: Beta so ja warna gabbar aa jayega.Beta apni maa se kehta: Maa mujhe Chocolate do varna papa se keh dunga ke mere sone ke bad roz gabbar aata hai.************ ********* ******

Love letter from Ram to Sita mataPyaari Sita,Main yahan kush hoon aur hope karta hoon ke udhar tum bhi thik thak hoge, Laxman tumhara bahut yaad karta hai. Maine ek bandar ke haath tumhare liye chitthi bhej raha hoon. Tum bilkul tension mat lena main bahut jaldi tumhe Ravan ke paas se chutaunga. Maine AIRTEL ka postpaid mobile liya hai aur maine mobile se Ravan ko bahut gaaliya di hai magar sale ne mobile kaat diya. Chalo koi baat nahi main jaldi aa raha hoon tumhe chudane ke liye. Main uska jism ka tukda tukda kar dalunga khanjar se. Maine bandar ke sath tumhare liye AIRTEL ka prepaid mobile bheja hai usme 1500 FREE SMS wali scheme hai tum mujhko roj SMS karti rehna. Chinta na karo jab bhi baat karne jo ji kare ek miss call mar do mein tumko call karunga aur baat karenge. Tum mere bill ki bilkul chinta na karo payment ka jimma sab sugreev ne apne sar pe le liya hai. Ok see you soon.

Tumhara pati
Ram************ ********* ******

Pathan ko dost ne khanay pe bulaya.
Pathan jab dost ke ghar aaya toh ghar pe tala laga tha,
Aur likha tha maine bewaqoof banaya tumko.Pathan ne Hoshiyari dikhai or niche likh diya,
"Main toh aaya hi nahi tha"************ ******

Saas: Khuda ne tumhe do aankhe di hai, Chawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti kya?

Bahu: Khuda ne tumhe battis daant diye hai do char 2-4 patthar nahi chabba sakti kya!!!************ ******

Ek baar ek ladka rastey mein chalte chalte ek gadhe ke samne gir gaya.Tabhi ek ladki ne use chhedte hue kaha, "Apne bade bhai ka aashirwaad le rahe ho kya?"Ladke ne palat kar jawab diya, "Sahi farmaya bhabhi ************ ********* ********* ***

Malik alsi nokar se:- Yahan par itne sare machcher gun-gun kar rahen hai tu unhe maar gira.Thodi der badMalik:- Abe sale nokar ke bachche maine tujhe machcher marne ko kaha abhi tak tune mare nahi. Woh ab bhi gun-guna kar rahe haiAlsi nokar:- Malik machcher toh maine maar diye. Yeh toh unki bibi hai jo vidhva ho kar ro rahi hai.************ ***

Ek sahebji ghabraye hue aaye aur biwi se bole: "Begam, aaj main office se aa raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…!"Itne mein unki bachhi bol uthi: "Mummy, Shyam ne meri gudiya tod di hai." Pati ne phir kehna shuru kiya "Haan toh begam, main keh raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…..!"Itne mein unka ladka bola: "Mummy, Rita ne meri car tod di hai."Biwi ghusse mein aakar boli: "Bhagwan ke liye tum sab chup ho jao, mujhe pehle gadhe ki baat sun lene do..!"************ ********* ********* ***

Wife: Aji suniye, mujhe kisi mehengi jaga le ke chaliye na ji….Husband: Chalo, tayyar ho jao…Guess where he took her….
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.Petrol pump!!!