JOKES !

jim was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks jim why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.

jIM : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
============ ======

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?

Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".

Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara
gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
============ ======

Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi
ko kya
kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal
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Thappad Maarne par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
"Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai."

Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli "Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti"
@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ @@@@

After 25 yrs wife said: Do u remember when u proposed me, I was so
overwhelmed I didnt talk for 1 hour

hubby:Yes dear that was happiest hour of my life!
@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@
A beggar- 'Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
"Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal
mein andha hai...
Husband: U will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife : Nonsense it's only a matter of patience, I had a lot of
trouble with u at first...
@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@

Husband : (came frm office ) Darling i m tired should a cup of coffee
Wife: oo sure sweetheart kitchen is besides you but plz make its
strong n ya sugar shud b less..
@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@

wife : honey,what r u looking 4?
husband :nothing
wife : why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date ......
@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@

Aik Sardar jo MBBS ka student tha... usay aik laal-baig diya gya keh
iski dissection karni hai...

Sardar nay us laal-baig ki aik taang kaat kar kaha, chal kar
dikhaa... it didn't move at all.

Sardar nay doosri taang kaati aur kaha ab chal kar dikha... it
didn't move again...

Sardar nay aik aik kar kay sari tangain kat din aur kaha... ab chal
kar dikha... But it didn't move even this time.

Tou Sardar nay final note main likha.. keh jub Laal-baig ki saari
tangain kaat di jayen tou woh SUNN nahin sakta....
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HEIGHT OF ISOLATION
Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with
each other.

HEIGHT OF COWARDICE
Two persons fighting through emails.

HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS
Receiving no emails for a week.

HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION
The email server being down.

HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS
Writing a love mail and doing a 'Send All.'

HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT
A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and
getting a reply.

HEIGHT OF TIME PASSES
A person sending e-mail to him.

HEIGHT OF EXPECTATION
Sending Pakistani cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a
match.

HEIGHT OF REPETITION
Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the same email
forwarded
back to you by some one in the receiving chain.

HEIGHT OF BROWSING
You are swimming in the water pond and shout "F1 F1 F1" instead of
shouting "HELP" when you are unable to swim
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-----------
TIRED & RETIRED

Tim had twins; he named them asTin & Martin.

Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.

Again twins & named Max & Climax.

Again d same.

Disgusted Tim named them TIRED & RETIRED